Seems like every week is a long week these days. Not bad. (Well some of them have been bad, but not most of them). It's all part of the learning curve that comes with being new in an area and new to a parish community. Everything is new. And with that learning curve of newness comes a level of fatigue and some anxiety. The anxiety is mostly about not knowing people, so not knowing what is meant by one thing or another, and not knowing who the safe people are that I can speak to and trust that they will hold my questions in confidence and also answer truthfully.
There are a lot of weird dynamics going on. I can't really say what - but they are mostly interpersonal. I'm hiring a consultant - an unrelated church professional to talk things through with. And I'm reading a lot of books on this particular kind of leadership issue.
Yesterday I drove my son to the BIG BIG city to the north, a city that feels like where we came from, except for the mountains. It was a three hour drive, one way.
He hung out with a friend. I went to a restaurant and read and read. It was a working day for me. I read this book on the issues I'm facing and began to feel a little better. A little like I was beginning to have some creative ideas for approaching what is going on.
I also went to Barnes and Noble and bought poetry books. Actually I've been buying a lot of books lately. Good thing. The poetry books: Mary Oliver - "Red Bird"; Billy Collins, "Questions About Angels"; a poetry book edited by Billy Collins "Poetry 180: A Turning Back to Poetry, an anthology of Contemporary Poems"; and "Women in Praise of the Sacred" 43 Centuries of Spiritual Poetry by Women, edited by June Hirshfield.
I have not been home in days...between the trip north yesterday and two funerals this week and a busy church day today...I now face a full evening home with little to do. Except read the NY Times - which finally got delivered to my house.
I will also try to catch up on my blog friends - assuming my eyes don't give out and I really can read....
yes. the fatigue is such that I can't even read....just sit...