“What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life? / The world would split open.”
Poet Muriel Rukeyser

Friday, June 01, 2007

Friday Five: Hopes and Dreams

Sally over at RevGals says: My house has been full of young people all week, young people who have just left school, young people with an eye on the future. Their laughter energy, and hope are infectious, so with that in mind- this Friday 5 is about hopes, visions and dreams;

1. Think back to the time you left High School, what were your hopes visions and dreams for your life/ for the world? My childhood was filled with a great deal of caretaking of my three younger brothers. Suffice it to say that my parents had issues. (That's ok, I've worked through it). All that is to say that my primary hope and dream when I left high school was to attend the state college as far away from home as possible, and still be "in-state" for tuition. Also, I had no idea what I wanted to major in in college, only that I wanted to go and begin a life of my own.

To that end, and remember this was 1974, I decided to major in agriculture. I had a dream of owning a self-sufficient farm and raising all my own crops and animals, getting married and raising a family. I was blessed to know folks during that time who were actually doing this and was impressed with their efforts but also realized that that kind of hard work was not for me. Besides this particular university specicalized in agriculture as BIG business, not little farming. I think it was the cow artificial insemination course that made me change my major.... :-)

What did I move on to? I became a dance major. It was a good idea, just took me a while to get there...

2. Have those hopes visions and dreams changed a lot, or are some of them still alive and kicking? (share one if you can) Yes. As I began to say above, my dreams, to some degree changed a lot. I have worked consistently at "having my own life." And my that I mean a life of authenticity and integrity, a life where I understand what motivates me and where I have reconciled myself to my challenging childhood. I have done that.

In the process I also went from a career in dance, to a career in interior design, to a stay at home mom, to massage therapy (working with hospice and hospital, as well as private practice) and eventually to ordained ministry working in a parish.

It's been a weird journey. But I feel it has been the path God has called me on. And all of what I've done before enriches my ministry as a priest.

3. Hebrews 11:1 " Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. " Comforting, challenging or frustrating? All of these. I am living in a transept time of my life, with a lot in flux. I wonder where and how God is calling me now. Not so much in regard to parish ministry, but rather where and how. And it is a time when my children are grown, or almost, so many changes there. I find I vacillate between wondering how in the world I can preach the Good News on Sunday, when it seems so vacant in my life these last four years, to assurance that God is with me and somehow all this will work out and I will be where I need to be....sigh....it's a faith thing.

4. If resources were unlimited, and you had free reign to pursue a vision what would it be? Right now. I'd just like to have my medical bills paid, my student loans gone, and little extra to go on vacation. But a vision. To expand my ministry with refugee families by establishing satellite offices around the region which can provide all the support they need for a successful start to a new life: childcare, language classes, community, job training and placement, etc.

5. Finally with summer upon us- and not to make this too heavy- share your dream holiday....where, when and who with... I watch Wheel of Fortune almost every night while making dinner. I always comment on their prize package - ohhh that would be a great trip, or that one, not so much. I'd love to take an extended to trip to England and Scotland and retrace my family. We have a lot of genealogy but it only goes back so far. I'd love to go the Cathedral in Manchester where one set of great great great great great grandparents were married. I'd like to tour the cathedrals and small towns and learn more about the lives of my family members. I think it curious that my family started off Church of England, became LDS and travelled (as pioneeers, my family were some of the first to settle in Utah and Idaho)...to follow their faith dreams, (oh some of the stories of their journeys)...and now here I am back in the church of origin if you will. Somehow I really do think it is a God thing working in me.

So take some time out re-visit your hope and visions...