Seeking Authentic Voice

This week will be consumed with funerals and sorrow. One of our beloved saints of the parish, a woman 88 years old has died of a fast growing cancer. She made the decision to go in peace, exclaiming to me, and all who spoke to her, that she had lived a good life, and was ready. For a short time she thought she had six months, but it's only been one. Also our parish administrator has left town for the week. She has two family funerals, her sister-in-law died Sunday, and then her nephew (son of the sister-in-law) died sudden, in his sleep, the next day. I'll be extra busy. I always am when the parish admin is gone - she does so much for us! I hope her week is filled with grace, although it will also be a very difficult one. A week of grief and loss, a week of sorrow. A week of celebrating the gift and the fragility of life. I'll get back to reading and reflecting on "Called to Question" sometime soon - but not today.... Love Sorrow Love sorrow. ...

The discordant notes like the draw of string and bow a concert of wind through trees. Clanging timpani and banging kettle drum bass a wild storm this morning. Morning? This predawn symphonic awakening to chords of light jagged sky. As if heaven was pouring forth heavy. As if a waterfall or river. Socks, fleece, a cup of hot coffee dogs being dogs with wet tongues sloppy dawn. A pause, a quiet moment, the sun rise behind heavy clouds rain. Or tears? More rain than I have seen in two, maybe more, years. Three AM symphony. Lulling me awake. Reminding me, life, shattered ripped open sky. Or soul?

Gunilla Norris in her book "Simple Ways" offers a number of reflections on life. One of her reflections is called, "Receiving Our Challenges." She writes this: "Trusting God with all our life means also to be able to trust the difficulties that come our way. Challenges and bitter sufferings can be gifts as well. To open to them is a profound act of humility. When the door slams and our hopes are dashed, when our health fails, a loved one dies, when the world closes in and the air we breath is full of despair, it is hard to receive such experiences as gift. Years after a dreadful difficulty or loss, many people will say that it was the difficulty that was somehow a profound turning point, a gift in disguise. But in the middle of the suffering we simply want it "not to be." To pray for endurance, reprieve, help of any kind, is only natural then. But when the challenge is the kind that will not go away, we have no choice but to be in it, and with it, and...