Seeking Authentic Voice

There are words inside of me, challenging, difficult words emotional, reactive words words that reveal my fear words that rise up again because I am confronted with old emotions, long resolved -  or so I thought -  which need to be worked through again. What do I do with these words? If I keep them inside will they fester? If I say them out loud will they  be heard as a hope to deepen understanding and not just complaining or whining or being the kind of person who keeps bleeding out words of pain - you know that kind of pain,  over and over until we all  wonder when that person  will grow up and gain insight  and maturity and maybe some reconciliation. Yeah. Those words. And those feelings.  Sure. I can hand the words  over to God.  I can do my part to be fully aware of their impact on me, the way that the words are honest and real. And the way that words are rea...

When I was a little girl my life was fraught with anxiety. I lived with an unstable mother and in a house filled with depression, alcoholism, violence, and always the risk of complete collapse. But every year around Christmas my mother would get it together. She'd bake cookies and we'd decorate the tree. She'd play Christmas music on the HiFi every night as my brothers and I fell asleep. We'd have a lovely Christmas dinner and open gifts on Christmas morning, each of us receiving delightful presents. Christmas was like a fairy tale time, as if all was right in the house and in the world. The Christmas season has always been special to me. This year I have baked thirty dozen cookies and put them in the freezer. We'll eat them a little at a time over the next month or so. The house is decorated and feels warm and cheery from the twinkling of lights. The cat is content sleeping under the Christmas tree. The dogs love it when I light the fireplace and we all snuggle a...

Holy and mysterious God,  be present with us in these times of distress.     Comfort us.     Walk with us through the tragedy of the violence.  Help us see our role in the violence of this world.  Let us not be agents of injustice,  not be spectators to tragedy,  but help us be part of the healing.  Tenderly hold our grief, fear, and disappointment  in your loving arms.  Help us to see your hand  at work in the world around us,  restoring the broken places of  our lives and world  to the wholeness you desire.  Show us how we can be  your hands in the world.  Direct us to recognize how we can help.  Enable us,  through your Holy Spirit  to mend the tattered shards of despair  into a cloth of comfort and hope.  Guide our hearts and minds  that our anger  can become compassion,  our fear...