Seeking Authentic Voice

Forced Pastoral Exits- A Tale of Three Churches by The Rev. Terri Pilarski One story: The months preceding the formal “New Rector Installation” service were relatively calm and easy. Afterward, a member of the Vestry claiming to have “issues with authority,”  began blatantly opposing every point raised by the Rector in Vestry discussions. The wardens and Rector teamed up to listen to and work with this Vestry member, enabling better communication and more effective Vestry meetings. Later, another parish conflict arose over human sexuality and whether openly gay and partnered persons should be bishops. The Vestry and Rector along with other community faith leaders organized a series of ecumenical and congregation-wide conversations on human sexuality. Although a few people left the parish because of the Episcopal Church’s stance on partnered gay bishops, most people stayed. The leadership encouraged open conversations which revealed more diversity within the congregation th...

Ordained fourteen years, I have gathered around the table with a community of the faithful three or four times a week. “The Body of Christ, the bread of heaven.” Into countless open hands I’ve placed a piece of bread, broken off of a larger loaf. “The Body of our Lord Jesus Christ keep you in everlasting life.”   A holy and sacred moment shared. “One bread, one body.” We become this body through baptism, partaking of meals together, sacred and ordinary, opportunities to connect with our friends and colleagues, and as we care for friend and stranger. We share our lives and find ministries in common that help make life more meaningful. We serve on committees and commissions, boards and teams, striving for vibrant and transformational relationships with God and our neighbor. Scripture, such as Matthew 18, Ephesians 4, and 1 Corinthians 13, remind us that we are called to be in relationship with one another. This means we are to lead a life worthy of that to which we have been called; ...

(The title is a quote overheard by a clergywoman about herself) One Sunday morning during coffee hour, as I was discussing the upcoming Lenten program with a parishioner, we were interrupted by a five year old girl who had something she just had to say to me. As usual she was articulate, brilliant, and a little bit hilarious. I mentioned to the parishioner that the girl was “pure leadership material in the making.” He commented on the challenges of being a woman in leadership and mentioned the difficulty his boss encounters because people say she is “bossy.” I said that it seems like people do not know how to respond to women in positions of authority and leadership. To which he said that when his son began to show leadership qualities he was moved into positions that would help form him in leadership through activities at school and in Boy Scouts. Girl’s, he said, are not provided with those same early childhood leadership formation opportunities. My parishioner’s comment lingered wit...

"Some friends of mine, a pastor and his wife, moved to a new church a few years ago, based on a strong sense of call to that particular community. Their first year or two in the new parish were very difficult. Their house in the old community didn't sell for almost a year, causing quite a strain on the budget. And not long after arriving at the new church, they were embroiled in a church battle that had been brewing for many years, one that the pastor forced to the surface where people had to deal with it. The six months or so that they and the congregation spent working out that situation were as unpleasant a time as anyone could imagine, and the church nearly split in two. Some people did end up leaving the congregation, but the church resolved the problem and not only survived but flourished once this decades-old issue had been identified and repaired. The pastor and his wife had serious questions about their call amidst all the difficulties, but they persisted in their wor...