Seeking Authentic Voice

A couple of weeks ago I packed a giant suitcase and prepared to head off for eight days into the unknown. I would join some thirty other Episcopal priests, fifty-five years old and older, from all over the country, for a time to reflect on our lives. We would gather at a retreat center in the heart of Mississippi. That fact alone, that we would be in Mississippi, was enough to cause me to be a little guarded. (Not that I had ever BEEN in Mississippi...). I had to schedule this CREDO retreat sometime last summer - gotta claim one's space when the invite comes - even though it is really hard to project out and decide when will actually be a good time to be gone for eight days. As it turns out this was probably the perfect time for me to go. I was exhausted, completely done in from a year of really GOOD hard work. I know this to be so, but I've come to realize just how true it is- good stress is just as wearing on the body as bad stress. As far as the body knows, stress is stre...

Top of the Rockies, highway 89 heading north toward Salt Lake City, view is looking northeast, altitude 9000+ feet I've learned some interesting information about adrenal fatigue, such as the complexity of diagnosing it. In 2008 and 2009 I was having some health issues which eventually led to a hysterectomy. During that time I had blood work done (and in the years since), which indicated that my adrenal function was on the low side of normal. Adrenal function has a wide range of "normal" and medical doctors only diagnose adrenal issues when a person has gone into adrenal failure and developed Addison's disorder or Cushings syndrome. Prior to the onset of those, adrenal fatigue can set in and bring with it a host of complications which can also be associated with many other life conditions: unexplained weight gain, especially around the belly; sleep disturbances; muscle fatigue; heart palpitations; back pain; foggy-headedness; low blood pressure; a chronic sense ...

Following Jan Richardson and the on-line Lenten Retreat, I am struck by her words last week when she reflected on wilderness and landscape. Pondering Jesus' forty days in the wilderness she writes that the wilderness, while not desired, is nonetheless formative for without time spent in that landscape we can never have clarity. Clarity like this doesn't come cheap. It takes a wilderness. Perhaps not a literal one. But a space where we can shed something of the familiar, the habitual, the comfortable and known; the routines and rhythms that we have shaped our lives around -- or perhaps bent and broken our lives upon. And in that space, we begin to see and to know: who we are, what we have been formed and fashioned to be in this world. I'm thinking about the landscape of my interior life, the thoughts in my head and how it feels for me to be living in this body right now. It's an odd time. I have much to be grateful for. I ought to feel at ease, peaceful and...

One of my goals during these two weeks of "stay-cation" is to maintain my exercise routine. Said routine is: one day of a 30 minute strength building workout with weights followed by something cardio - a 20 minute YouTube by Dennis Austin or a dog walk. Some days I do all three. The next day I will take a 20+ minute bike ride followed by 20+ minutes of yoga (using a podcast video from Yogamazing), and of course, if it's not too hot, a dog walk. Walking my dogs has been a regular part of my routine for 14 years. It's one reason I have dogs - to encourage me to get outside and walk! Now, however, as my dogs age, this more of a challenge for them. Oh, they still LOVE their walk, but we simply cannot go very far. This is particularly true for my 14 year old Roxie.   The other day my husband and I leashed up all three dogs and headed off for a walk. It was a relatively reasonable day, only in the 80's. We ended up taking one of our longer, but usual routes. I...

(I found this list posted on Facebook, credited to Julian Lennon, but my efforts to create a link to his Facebook page fail. Anyway, I didn't create the list, but find it hilarious).  Slowly, methodically, I am moving through my "To-Do" list. The one that contains all the things I need to do before I leave for a week of vacation and a week of General Convention for the Episcopal Church. The list includes: 1.Organize the massive amount of paper in my office. During certain busy times this past year I would literally pick up a pile of papers sitting on my desk and put them inside a cabinet. My office looked clean, but the behind the scenes piles grew. And then the pile on my desk grew. A big part of the issue was lack of file cabinets. We solved the problem by purchasing some mesh file holder that fit inside the built in cabinets in my office - thus enabling me to more effective use this space. I am about half way through the mess. It's unlikely I will get it ...