Seeking Authentic Voice

For months now I have been anticipating a retreat which begins today. Unfortunately I am too sick to drive the hour it would take to get to the retreat. And, really, do my clergy colleagues want to be exposed to me and these flu/cold germs? I don't think so. I am grateful that the fever I've had for two days seems to be gone. But I am left with a thick, foggy head, coughing and sneezing...kleenex is my bff. My retreat time will be spent at home, in bed, with tea. sigh. Instead of being able to enjoy some time in the country I offer this poem from Mary Oliver... Song for Autumn In the deep fall     don't you imagine the leaves think how comfortable it will be to touch     the earth instead of the nothingness of air and the endless     freshets of wind? And don't you think the trees themselves, especially those with mossy,     warm caves, begin to think of the birds that will come — six, a doze...

This afternoon I arrived at my favorite retreat center, Desert House of Prayer, for a few days of silence. This lovely, simple center is tucked in the mountains of western Tucson, in an area called Picture Rocks. From the window in my little room the Tucson valley lays out before me - as does the mountain range on the other side of the valley, the Catalina's. This is my third trip to Desert House of Prayer in a year. I come prepared to do yoga, read, draw, knit, walk, pray. Upon arrival I unpack my art supplies, knitting, clothes, computer, and yoga DVD's. I change into yoga attire, spread out my mat, and put in PM Yoga. But for some reason my computer did not want to let me view this DVD. I kept getting a warning message about some copy write issue between the DVD and my computer. This has never happened before and so perplexed I pull the computer onto my lap and begin trying to figure it out. Turns out I need to update some piece of software. Sitting on my yoga mat, on the f...

Tomorrow, after a full morning of meetings (and some filled with "complaints") I will head off with a parishioner, who is also a Benedictine Spiritual Director, for a silent retreat. This woman invited me to go away for some time of silence, prayer, and renewal, and I am grateful. We are going here . I have purchased sketch paper, charcoal pencils, colored pencils that can also be water color pencils, and grapite pencils. I hope to draw. I hope to reconnect with that side of me that loves to connect with nature through drawing. I am not a good artist, but I am good enough....besides, drawing is like meditation for me...so, I care less about the technique of my art. I will be gone until Friday morning, giving me two nights and the better part of two days to slow down and rest. Since life continues to be complicated at church with numerous dynamics at play (sigh)...I hope this time is not only restful but restorative....