Seeking Authentic Voice

It’s never been easy, or simple, for me to answer the question that Jesus asks the disciples, “Who do YOU say I am?” I’ve often wondered, “Who is Jesus to me?” Messiah. Savior. Redeemer. Jesus.  These words are heavy baggage in my lexicon.  As a child I was taught about “right” and “wrong” and that God was counting every infraction. What I heard was, being a person of faith was all about “following THE rules.” The rules were not necessarily the ten commandments, and I didn’t even hear about the greatest commandment to love God, love self, and love neighbor, until I was an adult. What I learned was God was counting my sins and holding every one of them against me. So I better follow the rules or else. My response to the idea that God was counting my sins and keeping track of every one of them, even the one’s that stayed in my head and were never said out loud or acted upon, was to try and be absolutely perfect. As if perfection is possible. The ef...

I remember the first time I really heard the Passion of Jesus and the words, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Up to that point I am certain I only knew that part of the story as the Gospel of Luke tells it, “Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.” And, as the Fourth Gospel says, “Jesus said, ‘It is finished.’ “ I was so familiar with the unsuffering Jesus that I had no idea how to understand the Jesus who cried out in despair. I was a grown woman, hearing this for the first time. Since that day I have wrestled with what it means to think of Jesus as a human being that suffered, that loved, that cried, prayed, hoped, and died. In Jane Redmont’s summer course/retreat Soelle Summer, we are reflecting this week on Jesus/Christ as Soelle understood him. We are also pondering: “Who is Jesus for me? And, how and why do I have this understanding of Jesus/Christ?” Throughout my life I have struggled with the “person” of Jesus. Part of this struggle is grounded in m...