Seeking Authentic Voice

In a little over a week, on December 28, it will be my 17th anniversary of ordination (transitional diaconate, priest on June 28) in the Episcopal Church. That cold December night I gathered with many of my friends and family in a dark church lit with candles, flaming the hope I felt inside. I remember trying to vest, putting on a pink long sleeved clergy blouse and having no idea how to use the collar stays. I put the stays in backward, so the more pointed end was against my skin. I had so much to learn, despite four years of advance college education to acquire a dual degree, Mdiv/MSW, with an emphasis on Family Systems for Congregations. But on that night I wasn't thinking about the challenges that would come, I was only thinking about the hurdles I'd jumped so far and where I'd finally landed. I was in a church I loved surrounded by people I loved and filled with hope for the future. The first few years were mostly good, albeit challenging to learn how to preach and p...

When I entered college in 1974, having graduated a year early, I was 17 years old and had no idea what I wanted do with the rest of my life. I did know that I wanted a college degree and a job. I briefly considered anthropology but changed my mind when my counselor told me that there were no jobs for women in that field. I had no interest in being a trailblazer, I just wanted to live a comfortable life. However, if I had majored in anthropology I would have known the term, “redemptive media.” Redemptive media is a term used by anthropologists to describe that which makes a person good, successful, and respectable. In the days of John the Baptist, what made one respectable and successful were who the parents were. Since everyone in his community descended from Abraham, that meant, by tradition, that they were God’s chosen people.  There’s a comfort in knowing who one is. Life is easier if one fits into the categories that one’s culture defines as good, respectable, and ...

A reflection on the readings for Proper 23A: Philippians 4:1-9; Matthew 22:1-14 The other night I had a sudden urge to make homemade bread. I looked through the cabinets and found all the ingredients: yeast, honey, olive oil, whole wheat flour, white flour, and salt. I wanted to make an herb bread so I also needed oregano, basil, rosemary and marjoram.  I have made a lot of bread in my lifetime, it’s something I really love to do. I am especially fond of kneading bread, and always think of my great-grandmother. She had some peculiar ideas about cooking. For example, she thought it was important to only stir cake batter in one direction so that the molecules aligned in the same direction. I guess stirring in multiple directions would mix up the molecules and the cake wouldn’t turn out well? I have no idea if that is true, but I try to follow her instructions anyway.  This particular baking process was a little doomed from the start. First of all, the yeast expired ...

 A reflection on the readings for Lent 4C: Luke 15:1-3, 11-32 In a small town where life has been the same for 100 years, a war is about to break out between the tranquility of tradition and the fear of change. A power struggle ensues between acts of compassion and hospitality and a fierce adherence to protocol.   The shock of something   new, the excitement of letting go of what have become meaningless rules for life, the dangers of denying people joy and the consequences of intolerance are aroused by a chocolatier’s delectable sweets in the movie CHOCOLAT. At the heart of the story in CHOCOLAT is a gypsy-like woman named Vianne born with special powers. Vianne arrives as a mysterious outsider to the French village of Lansquenet where she opens a chocolate shop featuring tantalizing candy and beverages that can, in addition to being delicious, cure lost hopes and awaken long deprived emotions. Vianne's effect, and the impact of her chocolate, is immediate an...

A reflection on the readings for Proper 23B: Job 23:1-9, 16-17; Hebrews 4:12-16; Mark 10:17-31 Last week our readings were very complex. We began the book of Job with some troubling concepts presented about God, humanity, and the Satan. And we heard a difficult reading in the Gospel of Mark about divorce. But as a congregation we were celebrating the feast day of St. Francis and the kids were with us for the entire service. So instead of reflecting on the difficult readings I read a story, directed at the kids, but relevant to all of us, and we talked about the life and ministry of St. Francis. So – this morning we have a little catching up to do. Let’s begin with last week’s troubling passage in Mark about divorce. Remember someone asked Jesus if it was okay for a husband to divorce his wife. And Jesus says, yes, according to the law of Moses it is okay. But, Jesus says, that doesn’t mean it is the right thing to do. What Jesus is referring too, however, is not the kind of r...

I look at gold and world and see children's trinkets and sand. Heaven-joy carries me far beyond myself. If only my breath were a wind through-sweetened with praise, to carry Love's flames starwards, toward You. If only I, out of Love, could be the Phoenix kindled, could perish entirely out of bliss, into my one desire. Let me in thankfulness be Your mirror, God- Then Your own rays might be returned to You, in grace-words, in equal light. from On the Sweet Comfort Brought by Grace by Catharina Regina Von Greiffenberg translated by Jane Hirshfield with Samuel Michael Halevi printed in Women in Praise of the Sacred HarperPerennial 1994

Gunilla Norris in her book "Simple Ways" offers a number of reflections on life. One of her reflections is called, "Receiving Our Challenges." She writes this: "Trusting God with all our life means also to be able to trust the difficulties that come our way. Challenges and bitter sufferings can be gifts as well. To open to them is a profound act of humility. When the door slams and our hopes are dashed, when our health fails, a loved one dies, when the world closes in and the air we breath is full of despair, it is hard to receive such experiences as gift. Years after a dreadful difficulty or loss, many people will say that it was the difficulty that was somehow a profound turning point, a gift in disguise. But in the middle of the suffering we simply want it "not to be." To pray for endurance, reprieve, help of any kind, is only natural then. But when the challenge is the kind that will not go away, we have no choice but to be in it, and with it, and...