Seeking Authentic Voice

One year my family and I moved into a new house. The backyard was large with lots of trees and grass. There was one oddity to the yard, a 3 by 5 foot section that was weed-filled. We figured it must have been an herb garden at one time, but now it was nothing but entangled weeds, the result of years of neglect. Not long after we moved in my husband, Dan, and I, decided to dig up the weedy section and let it return to grass. So we took shovels and went outside and tried to dig. We tried and tried, but to no avail. The weeds were too thick and the ground was too impacted by weeds, completely root bound. We called a landscaper to come help, and a few days later a couple of guys showed up with shovels. I started to laugh and thought to myself, "This I have to see." The guys made a valiant effort to dig here, then there. But after several vain attempts they gave up and left. A few hours later they returned with a tractor and dug up that root bound piece of earth. Afterward we fill...

On my sixteenth birthday I came home from high school to find a bouquet of long stemmed blue iris’s, a gift from parents. My birthday falls in February, one of the bleakest months of the year, when fresh flowers are an especially delightful reminder of the warmer weather to come. During the long season of Lent the church was void of fresh flowers. Instead we had dried sunflowers in muted browns and tan colors, and bare branches, rocks and ashes, stark symbols of winter and the spiritual journey of a season intentionally focused on our broken human nature, of the need for forgiving others and being forgiven ourselves.  Now the space is once again filled with flowers, in such an abundance that I have to use Flonase just to be in this room. Potted tulips, hydrangeas, hyacinths, daffodils, and lilies. They fill the altar space and the transept, overflowing from altar to step, down to the font. It is a heady sight. One church I served use to plant the bulbs left over from these...

One of the primary reasons people my age enjoy Facebook is the opportunity to take quizzes. Many of these quizzes are about identity. Through answering a set of random questions the quiz will determine what state you should live in (New Hampshire); what religion you really are (Hinduism – because I know down-ward facing dog?); what color your aura is (violet, which means I am psychic and wise…). Playing these games always cracks me up; they are all in good fun.   But beyond the silliness of the quizzes is a deeper question concerning our desire to know our “true selves.” As Christians we are on a life-long journey of coming to know our true selves, and Jesus is our guide along the way. From the earliest of days, the Christian journey has been one of shedding the artificial sense of self formed in part in response to the pulls and pushes of the world around us. The artificial self is a natural defense to being told that we are not good enough, thin enough, experienced enough, young ...

 A reflection on the Gospel of Luke 24:1-12 for Easter morning, year C The darkness of Good Friday has passed. The pain and suffering of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane is over. The tomb is split open and Jesus is on the move again. In this parish we symbolize the signs of the resurrection in a variety of ways. Gone is the simplicity of Lent, the barren features of our worship space and the glass chalices. Gone is the hearty rye bread and the dry burgundy wine. In its place we have our finest silver, and a light white bread with a sweet wine. Gone are the dried sunflowers and rocks. And the chest at the foot of the altar…. All of Lent this chest has been closed and locked, holding within it the “Allelulia’s” our children created, and symbolizing Jesus’ tomb….. Now   - with the celebration of Easter the chest is burst open, the Allelulia’s are released, (and proclaimed in beautiful array on the bulletin board in ...

Although the house resided on a busy four lane street, it had a wood deck off the back, that over looked 2-1/2 acres of grassy yard and a narrow strip of woods. After we moved in we realized that under the deck various animals had built dens: woodchuck, possum, rabbits. One year we were startled to discover that a red fox had moved in under our deck. Actually it was a couple, a male and a female red fox. By late winter, the baby foxes made an appearance. As spring unfolded we were delighted to see the fox family, usually late at night, out in the yard, playing. Papa fox would place himself way out on the perimeter of the yard to act as watch guard – his eyes intent, surveying the area, protecting his brood. Meanwhile momma fox brought one or two babies out of the den and taught them to follow, and play, and become fox. Although we only saw one or two at a time, as they grew in size, we saw more and more, a total of 8 baby fox. For the next few months the fox family and the Pilar...

Yesterday morning, for a number of reasons, including my husband working on Easter (tough to be the low guy on the staff) and my daughter having commitments, I thought I was going to spend Easter at home. Then my daughter's schedule changed, last minute, and we headed off for church. We decided to go to the church where my two year old Goddaughters go, thinking it would be fun to spend Easter morning at, as they say, "Chuuch" with them. This small church is very innovative and fun, I've gone a few times over the years, including the day the PB baptized the babies, two years back. (She was in town for the consecration of the new Diocesan Bishop). When my daughter and I walked in the priest's face lit up and his arms opened wide. We were almost late, the choir was already lined up to process....but the priest spontaneously asked me if I wanted to do something in the worship? I said, sure, whatever you want! He said, how about processing and proclaiming the Gospel. W...

I've been thinking lately about darkness and light, "inspired" in part by some sleepless nights. For most of my life I have been a very sound sleeper, out almost as soon as my head hits the pillow and gone until I wake in the morning. But over the last few years, as is typical it seems with age, I find myself with occasional bouts of late night insomnia. I still usually fall asleep, but then "something" will wake me, a vague noise of some sort, and then before I know it I am wide awake. When this happens I make vain efforts to fall back asleep. I clamp my eyes shut and try to block out all thoughts, sounds, and light. Usually this fails completely and after an hour or so of useless effort I get up and wander into the living room. I turn on one low light, make a cup of tea, and start up my computer, and write. Usually after about two hours of writing or reading I can go back to bed and go to sleep. Recently I had two sleepless nights in a row. Oddly these were bo...