Seeking Authentic Voice

I will be out of town Mon through Wed visiting a church and interviewing. Prayers appreciated.

From the Revgals blog: What Are You... 1. Wearing - pajamas (and sunless tanner so I am ready for the warm weather that is coming - whoohoo for shorts and sandals which I'll be wearing soon.) 2. Pondering - oh, way too much. Mostly job search stuff and managing existing church at the same time.... 3. Reading - blogs. Christianity for the Rest of Us. And church profiles, newsletters, etc for my search process. 4. Dreaming - sleeping too soundly to dream. Oh, but day dreams - warm weather. Hopes and dreams - that new exciting call. 5. Eating - cookies and Tazo "Refresh" tea (spearmint, peppermint, and tarragon)...yum!

The first time I heard this phrase was in the late 1980's. My husband used it to describe the kind of promoting one did to win business, "A Dog and Pony Show." Touting the wares of the trade and soliciting interested clients to use him and his company as their vendor of choice. Now still having problems posting from my main computer...ergo this half finished post. When I went back to complete it, with beautiful prose....I was told that my site couldn't connect to blogger...bleh...now I am using a differnt machine, but I also have a meeting in a few minutes...sigh...I miss posting...sometimes I can't even leave comments on the sites I read...

While at CREDO I had the opportunity to have two massages in one week. As someone who once worked as a Massage Therapist I was thrilled at this opportunity. I also knew I really needed one. (Or as it turned out, two...). The first treatment was Wednesday. It was a good massage. But I did not relax. My body remained tense, my mind on high alert. I was not too surprised. My last massage was over the summer, many months ago. It has been too long since I had one. And way too much stuff has happened. 11 days in the hospital. Managing five search processes for a new parish. Guiding my existing parish through rugged terrain of grief and worry. Too much strain. Too much anxiety. So. I had a second massage on Friday. That time I relaxed deeply. Fully. My body just let go of all the strain it was holding on to. Instead of perpetually tapping my toe and bouncing my leg while sitting, I am able to sit still. Able to think more clearly. Able to be quiet and listen to God. I should have known. I did

testing to see if I can publish... OK, I could be wrong. But now, today, it seems I can once again, mysteriously, publish....we'll see if it holds....

I am have a difficult time posting on my blog. It appears to be something between blogger and my home computer(s). When ever I try to post I get a message about not being able to connect to blogger - even though I am clearly connected to the internet....However, I am able to post from my office. This all started about two weeks ago after I allowed some updates to microsoft windows on my home computer...So, hum. confusing...I will continue to discern what has caused the glitch and hopefully be back to full posting soon.

I have just returned from an 8 day conference called CREDO. Sponsored by the Church Pension Group of the Episcopal Church, CREDO is an opportunity for priests to spend time reflecting on how we are living our lives. The team of professionals who lead this conference include folks with expertise in health, finances, vocation, and spirituality. We attended plenary discussion on each of these topics and had time to reflect on how we are caring for our selves. How is our health? What activities do we do that support our health? We epxerienced a healthy eating exercise and talked about managing stress. We had great food prepared for us by the conference center staff. We had a beautiful walking trails through woods and hills in Virginia. What about our finances? Are we being good stewards of our resources? Do we have a plan for retirement? What about our vocation? Are we discerning a new call? How do we negotiate a new agreement? What are the components we ought to consider: sabbatical; time

I will be out of town from April 16 - April 23. I will post, if possible...

“When it was evening that day, the first day of the week the doors of the house where the disciples met were locked for fear...” As this gospel reading begins we are in the evening of last Sunday, Easter Day. Jesus first appears to the disciples that very night. And he finds them hiding in fear. Of course they have lots to be afraid of. Their friend and leader, Jesus, has just been crucified. Who knows, they could be next. On top of that they’ve heard that Jesus is missing. His body is not in the tomb. The women said he is alive! How could this be? Is Jesus now a ghost come to haunt them? This is a problem; they are all guilty of denying him in his greatest hour of need. Who knows what the ghost/Jesus might do to them…. This is probably the worst day of their lives. Granted it was pretty awful when Jesus was captured and killed. But now, for the disciples, this day is even worse. They are going to be held accountable. Isn’t that what we would think? So, the disciples are hiding…fear-fi

From the RevGals site Reverend Mothers posts: Cheesehead and I are both laid up this week with various tooth maladies. This one's in honor of us: 1. Are you a regular patron of dentists' offices? Or, do you go a) faithfully, as long as you have insurance, or b) every few years or so, whether you need it or not, or c) dentist? what is this "dentist" thing you speak of? I am a regular patron at the dentist. Although recently I did go a long while without a visit - hey everything was fine, I thought. Then I ended up with a fractured tooth. The dentist tried to fix the fracture, which only made it worse, so the tooth was pulled, and then over the next 4 days a nasty infection set in. (I was not prescribed antibiotics)...The dentist, via phone consultation, was convinced that my intense pain was only TMJ. But no, it was an infection that moved into my jaw bone and up the side of my face. I was completely distorted as the right side of my face puffed out several inches. Thi

1. Met with Jungian analyst. Good. Very good. 2. Finished paper work for CREDO. 3. Finished taxes. 4. Finished sermon video for church. 5. Had phone interview. 6. Downloaded God and Me presentation ceremony. 7. Made dinner. 8. Ate dinner. 9. Watched Ugly Betty and Grey's Anatomy and ER.(well, soon) 10. Posted on this blog, twice. And on a few others. 1. Left to do: go to post office and mail taxes and also mail the video of sermon to search committee - but all set to go. Will wait until tomorrow... 2. Continue to tweek sermon for Sunday... 3. Pack for CREDO (but that can't really be done until Sunday night, I can only start) Something I noticed along the way: Flickr has 10,030 images for "to do list."...guess I'm not alone in making lists.... .

1. See Jungian analyst. 2. Vote (early) for local elections as I will be out of town next week. 3. Finish CREDO paper work (print resume, get copy of credit report, fill out reflection pieces on health, well being, finances, etc.) 4. Work on sermon for Sunday. 5. Email parish about out combined service on Sunday with sister church 6. Download form for God and Me badge presentation in church on Sunday 7.prepare for a phone interview, although I will wait until afternoon since a bad storm on the East coast may delay this interview. 8. go to post office to mail CD of sermon to search committee. 9. mail taxes 10. get books to read while at CREDO 11. begin to organize packing for CREDO 12. Prepare for site visit from search committee this weekend (ergo, begin packing now). 13. post this on my blog....

My friends over at RevGals posted for this Monday and titled it, Holy Week Hangover. I think that is an apt description of the exhaustion I (and others like me) feel after planning, preparing, preaching, and presiding over lots of services from Palm Sunday to Easter Day. It is a week of such great fatigue, of bone weariness, and of amazing awe as the worship services unpack the Christian story. I strive to bring that story alive in so many ways: the visual image of the worship space; the text, words, prayers, hymns...it allows me to tap into my training in theater, lighting design for dance, and interior design. And at small church we manage to pull it off so very well. True, not many people come. But for those who do, for those who come to all of the Holy Week service, they have travelled a journey. Some years I wonder why I bother, for so few people. But this year I know why. I need to do it. I could not live Holy Week with out this. And so I am grateful for the people who take this

The darkness of Good Friday has passed. The pain, denial, rejection, and suffering, of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane is over. The tomb is split open and Jesus is on the move again. In this parish we symbolize the signs of the resurrection in a variety of ways. Most prominent are the flowers in glorious array. Gone is the simplicity of Lent, the barren features of our worship space and the ordinary glass chalices. Gone is the hearty rye bread and the dry burgundy wine. In its place we have our finest silver, and a light white bread with a sweet wine. What remains are the rocks from our prayer cairns, now filled with green vines. And this chest…. All of Lent this chest has been closed and locked, holding within it the “Alleluia’s” our children created. Then, with the celebration of Easter the chest is burst open, the Alleluia’s are released, the chest falls to its side; eggs pouring out. The chest represents for us the tomb where Jesus was buried. The tomb; the shadow side of life: e

Tonight at the Maundy Thursday service in addition to our regular communion bread and wine we will consecrate an extra large loaf of bread and an extra cruet of wine. These will be added to the table in the photo. This is our Garden of Gethemane prayer vigil. People from the parish will come in one hour increments and pray all night, holding "vigil" with Christ as he faces his last night. Matthew 26:38-46 (The Message) Gethsemane Then Jesus went with them to a garden called Gethsemane and told his disciples, "Stay here while I go over there and pray." Taking along Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he plunged into an agonizing sorrow. Then he said, "This sorrow is crushing my life out. Stay here and keep vigil with me." Going a little ahead, he fell on his face, praying, "My Father, if there is any way, get me out of this. But please, not what I want. You, what do you want?" When he came back to his disciples, he found them sound asleep. He said

After a beautiful March we are expecting snow for Easter. The weather forecasters anticipate Spring flowers freezing. Temperatures for the rest of the week: highs of 38, lows of 22, and cloudy...even for Sunday. *sigh*

In preparation for my sermon on Easter Day I have done some research into Easter eggs. Probably every one else has already done this, but me, I never have....so I was curious and thought that talking about Easter eggs would make for a good illustration in the Easter sermon. In the process I stumbled upon, well actually it was mentioned in Wikipedia, a story about Mary Magdalene. It goes like this: Following the Ascension of Christ Mary Magdalene went to Rome to meet with the Emperor Tiberius. In this meeting she told him all about the resurrection of Jesus. In her hand she held an egg, which for Romans would have been a clear symbol of new life contained within the shell, waiting to be released. His response was something like this, "The possibility that Jesus was resurrected is about as likely as that egg you are holding turning red." At which point the egg in her hand promptly turned red. Christians have adopted the egg as our symbol of Jesus confined to the tomb (egg shell

Well it is actually Monday, late afternoon. In a previous post I spoke about my plans to attend the annual Chrism Mass... which took up most of this day. And it was just OK. I mean it is always good to gather with clergy from our diocese, listen to a reflection on Holy Week given by some wonderful speaker, celebrate a Eucharist and renew our ordination vows. So, most of it was wonderful... it's just the speaker this offered too much stuff and not enough time to process it. So I will need to spend some time, probably tomorrow when the house is quiet, pondering the reflection and trying to get some of it down on paper before I forget it.... I mean really, Descartes, Kant, Hegel and the resurrection...in an hour and half....oy

Holy Week for Christians officially begins with today, the celebration of Palm to Passion Sunday. Tomorrow (Monday) and Tuesday various members of the clergy from our region will gather for the annual "Chrism Mass." This annual gathering includes a light breakfast and social time, a conversation with our Bishop for about half hour, and then a reflection led by someone, theme - Holy Week. Afterward we celebrate Eucharist and renew our ordination vows. We also "bless" new Chrism, olive oil scented with herbs from an ancient recipe used during baptism, "You are marked as Christ's own forever." It is a wonderful fragrance. I use this oil for our healing services and for all occasions of anointing because in the process of praying for healing (wholeness and harmony in ones life, not necessarily "cure")...in the process of praying this oil reminds us of the new life found in baptism, which is often similar to the new life found in wholeness...if