Seeking Authentic Voice

KathrynZJ offers this Friday Five: Today’s Friday Five celebrates the spontaneous child in all of us… ar at least the one that we admire in someone else: 1) On a scale of 1-5, with 5 being I can’t do this now I am about to jump into a pit of plastic balls at the mini-mall and 1 being I can’t do this now until I can get all of the fonts on my blog to match – where are you? I am sitting in a blue reclining chair at my new portable desk - a very cool little "desk" on wheels that holds my computer and more at a comfortable height for the chair. It's all about my renewed efforts to use good body mechanics as I work at home. 2) What is the silliest/most childlike thing you have done as an adult? I've always wanted to be a fun, spontaneous person capable of being silly. But I'm not. I'm the oldest of four with three younger brothers, I grew up being responsible and decidedly not silly. On the other hand I am not uptight or rigid. That said, when my kids were youn

Ice Cream : vanilla with chocolate sauce. Vanilla with caramel sauce. or ribbons of chocolate. or ribbons of caramel. Or Chocolate. Chocolate with chocolate. Ice cream. I eat a little almost every day. yum. Lately m favorite is the gelato place, which makes low fat ice cream in many flavors....my favorites: watermelon and mango. Ice cream is source of delight, a simple pleasure, gratitude at the end of a long day. Ice: when I lived in the Midwest I never put ice in any beverage. But here in the heat of desert....I put ice in everything - coffee, tea, water...and I have developed a tendency to eat it too....I mean really, when it's 106 outside, I am sooo grateful for ice. Internet: just goes without saying. I almost live on it. Almost. I am grateful for the speed at which I can do research, get information, connect with family and friends.

What can I say about the "H's" of Gratitude? Let me think.... Hands : strong, makes me think about my pioneer great grandmothers and the hard work they did with their hands. My own hands, especially when I was a massage therapist and my hands and arms were strong! Hands which break bread, hold bread, guide chalice. Hands which caress, love, care. Holding hands with my husband. Holding the hand of my child when she or he was little as we walked. Hands comfort and support. Heart: a place to be grounded in God, a place to give and receive love. Heart that sustains life in more ways than one. Happiness : tough one. Happiness. I hated the movie, Pursuit of Happiness. And since then it has caused me to ponder the feeling state of happiness. I think it is mostly just a fleeting emotion. I feel happy every now and then. For example, when I got off the Super Shuttle at General Convention in Anaheim and I saw the huge blue sign that reads: "The Episcopal Church Welcomes You&q

Geraniums - specifically red. These flowers are hardy enough to make it through a hot Arizona summer and I love the red color. They look very festive in our ceramic planter boxes with brightly painted trim. Grand Canyon - I mean, need I say more? It is just totally awesome. Totally. Green - as in green grass. Not much of that in the desert. And sometimes I yearn for easy on the eye green grass. For the smell of freshly mown lawn. For the feel of young grass on my bare feet. Gratitude in general. I am grateful for opportunities to reflect on the things I am grateful for. Gratitude....

Monday is my day off, which is always Fabulous , always an occasion to be grateful. Grateful , also, that I have a job from which I can have a day off. I am also grateful for Fortitude. I seem to have a lot of it, part of my natural constitution. Thank goodness, too, because I have had a number of occasions, (uhm - YEARS) in my life where the only thing that got me through was some mysterious inner strength. I of course believe that God is at the core of Fortitude - which points us to tomorrow when I'll reflect on "G" gratitude's. For today I am reflection on "F" gratitude's. Flip-flops - living in a hot climate has created in me a deep gratitude for flip flops. About a year ago I bought a fabulous (there it is again) pair of leather flip flops from American Eagle. I wear them around the house as a precaution against stepping on bark scorpions (very venomous, but rarely fatal - an "F" word that is not in my gratitude list). We also have to w

Day five of the gratitude reflections following the alphabet brings us to an "E" day: Engines , as in search engines - such a great invention! I probably use a search engine every day.... Early , as in early bird - I love getting up early and enjoying the morning. Exercise , one of the reasons I like to get up early. Exercise helps me feel great during the day, have more energy, stay healthy and in shape. Energy , as in the natural energy that comes from sleeping well, exercising, and eating a healthy diet. Eating , yes. I love to eat. But I am invested in eating well, a balanced diet. Ok, usually I am. I can junk food out with the best of them - but I hate how cruddy it makes me feel afterward. I'm sure there must be more Exciting things I could put on this "E" list, but this is all I can think of at this time...

Gratitude according to the letter "D".... Dark Chocolate. I really love chocolate, dark with almonds, truly a small pleasure in life. Desert flowers. The vibrant VIBRANT colors are startling, and offer a great reprieve from the otherwise "drab" gray and brown landscape. Dancing. I love to dance, any kind of dancing - oops NOT disco - but otherwise, so freeing. Dogs. Need I say anymore? Actually yes, I mean well-behaved dogs. Dogs are such wonderful companions. And, for me, a real incentive to exercise because they need to be walked. One of my greatest joys in life is a walk with my dogs. Of course that was a little easier to do and more relaxed BEFORE the bobcat family moved in across the street...

Day three on my gratitude reflections, following the alphabet, leads me to the letter "C".... The big news in my neighborhood are the cats, specifically, bob-cats living on the roof of the house across the street. So very cool. It is really awesome to see these beautiful animals up close (even as it also means we must be very, very careful walking dogs and wandering around outside). Cats. Nature. Grateful.

Following the alphabet meme of gratitude today I am reflecting on the letter "B" which made me think of the beatitudes: "Blessed..." I'm not so much pondering the blessed are's, but rather just blessings. Some of the things in my life that are blessings: Birds. In the past I have owned birds in the past, finches, canaries, and lovebirds. But I really love the birds outside, of which we have an abundance here. Yes, birds are a blessing. Banana's. I love bananas (especially with peanut butter). Black Licorice, especially the Panda brand.... Brownies with chocolate chips. Bowling. Haven't gone in a long while, and am not good, but it is fun to do with family or friends. Burritos. Of all kinds. Even the fried fruit burrito dessert at one of my favorite restaurants. Beasties - as in the household, pet variety...truly a blessing. What are the blessings in your life today?

altar ego at Reverent Irreverence started this, the idea of daily posts, following the alphabet, of what one is grateful for. You can find her offering at the link above or in my sidebar. Here is mine: Attitude. Attitude has a lot to do with gratitude. With an open heart any number of things, ideas, experiences can stir up gratitude. Whereas with a closed heart these same things may glide by unrecognized, not experienced. Like most people I have had long stretches of time when life has been a tremendous challenge. When living felt like moving through thick shades of gray.Just getting out of bed felt beyond my ability, so dire was my life, so little did I want to face the bleakness of the day. During those times I had to find the little things to be grateful for - the kind word of a friend, a hug, lunch out with someone I enjoy being with, one of my cats curled up in my lap, a walk with my dogs. When life has turned around and felt full and colorful again, I have much more obvious thin

I have just finished reading "The Elegance of the Hedgehog" by Muriel Barbery. My favorite lines in the book: "They didn't recognize me," I say. I come to a halt in the middle of the sidewalk, completely flabbergasted. "They didn't recognize me," I repeat. He stops in turn, my hand still on his arm. "It's because they have never seen you," he says. "I would recognize you anywhere."

What a fast week! But oh, I am sooo very grateful that I went to General Convention. Even if I went back to my room instead of crashing the cocktail and dinner event held in Ballroom B for the folks from Chicago, many of whom I know. No, I went back to my room, following a day of being a Page in the House of Bishops, and rested. Like I was supposed too. Even if I missed the L.A. night at the Arena with rocking music and Brian McLaren as the Keynote speaker. After a day of being a Page in the House of Bishops, I went back to my room and rested. Regardless of what I missed I was able to be present for some awesome happenings: the HofB passing resolutions C056 (creating liturgies to bless same gendered unions). Discussions on the budget and youth representation in the House of Deputies. And worship services that reminded me of why I love this church. Fabulous music! Great preachers (Abagail Nelson, Brian McLaren, Bishop Katharine). Fine liturgy in English, French, and Spanish. (COOL). I g

(from flickrfoto, July 13) I rose early this morning in order to attend the Province VIII breakfast and installation of officers for 2009. We gathered from 7:00am to 8:30am for prayer, some refreshing food, and delightful conversation. Laura Smith, wife of our Diocesan Bishop was there along with Marilyn Hedges, myself, and about 50 other ECW members from this province (Idaho, Utah, Wyoming, Arizona, Nevada, California, Alaska, Washington, Oregon, Hawaii, and Taiwan). Following the breakfast I wandered over to the Exhibition Hall and walked the exhibits. The room was filled with booths of all sorts: artwork from Haiti and Jerusalem, Chasubles and Albs from Whipple, Almy, and independant sources, Episcopal Relief and Development and Heifer International, Church Publishing and Leader Resources, and more. I walked the hall for about half an hour and then returned to my hotel room for some rest before my big afternoon as a Page in the House of Bishops. I returned to the convention cen

Yesterday I walked more than I had walked in 8 days. A lot more. Which means that this morning I was tired. Not sleepy, just tired. So I stayed in my hotel room, in bed, in my pj's until 10am. I ordered room service and drank a pot of coffee (OK, a pot was only 4 cups). I read blogs. Finally I showered and got dressed. I wanted to attend the General Convention Eucharist built around the theme of the Millennium Development Goals. I am so glad I went. I got to hear a fabulous keynote (sermon) address, which you can read here . I got to sit next to my former, and now retired Bishop. I got to see some folks I have cared about and known for years. It was great. After the Eucharist I grabbed a quick lunch (Turkey sandwich and iced Tea) and then went to wait for my assignment as a page for the House of Bishops. Thankfully I brought my knitting, because I waited awhile. My assignment (When they asked if anyone had any issues with walking or hearing, I raised my hand - note to self, walk sl

Huntington Beach, Californai Yes. I had surgery 5 days ago. And yet, here I am, in Anaheim, California, at the General Convention for the Episcopal Church. Actually, I am doing quite well, from the surgery (the one, that as someone said to me "Every woman wants at some point in her life"...). Actually it may be that I am here because I feel better than I have felt in awhile - so it is all relative. Anyway. Day one of my trip to the convention. The 2009 Triennial Convention for the Episcopal Church actually began last week, July 8 (coincidentally the day of surgery). But this is my first day here. I had an easy flight in, on a commuter plane out of Tucson, a 90 minute flight. Small plane, tiny seat space. But otherwise no problems. I took the Super Shuttle from LAX (piece of cake finding the pick up location) and was the first stop on the drop off points for 5 people in the van. Some things I observed, but have forgotten about, because I live in a small town: people who work,

Here is a short video of the bobcat family that has decided to live on the roof of the house across the street. Good thing no one is living in that house....

"Not to bring up something upsetting, but when you leave here today, you may go through a period of unemployment. My suggestion is this: Enjoy the unemployment. Have a second cup of coffee. Go to the park. Read Walt Whitman. Walt Whitman loved being unemployed. I don't believe he ever did a day's work in his life. As you may know, he's a poet. If a lot of time goes by and you continue to be unemployed, you may want to consider announcing to all appropriate parties that you have become a poet." (John Patrick Stanley, playwright, in his commencement speech at the College of Mount St. Vincent, NY Time National section, June 14, 2009) Granted, this made me chuckle...but then I am not a college student facing an uncertain future.