Seeking Authentic Voice

A reflection on the readings for Proper 12C : Hosea 1:2-10; Luke 11:1-13 Mechtild of Magdeburg, who lived in the thirteenth century, was the first German woman to write poetry and spiritual texts in Middle-High-German instead of Latin. Little is known about her except that she must have been of noble descent. Her adult life was spent with a group of unmarried women who lived together caring for the poor and the sick. Mechthild lived first in Magedeburg and then at a convent in Helfta. Here is one of her poems: How God speaks to the Soul And God said to the soul: I desired you before the world began. I desire you now As you desire me. And where the desires of two come together There love is perfected God speaking into the souls of human beings and in and through us is at the heart of our readings this morning. These earthy, bodily focused readings point us beyond ourselves to God who is ever faithful and always present. In the Hosea reading

When I was in seminary I was “invited” by one of my theology professors to partake in a tutorial. The purpose of this tutorial was to teach me how to write as an academic. I was not the only student given this opportunity -   several other, older, women students were also invited to tutorials. I agreed and was assigned to work with a kind, brilliant, slightly younger male student. He taught me the essential components of academic writing comprised primarily of never using the word “I” and always writing in a formal, technical manner that made no reference to personal experience. After a few sessions I grasped the gist of this genre of writing and proceeded with my seminary career, earning mostly A’s and a few B’s. Nonetheless, writing in that formal academic style has never been my forte. I am a person grounded in the experiential. I process life through my feelings, my body, my instincts, and my learned knowledge. I need to engage all my sensibilities to assess life and faith. Fi

Today I will go to the mountain top with half a dozen remnants of my family. My father and his sister, my mother's brother and his daughter (my cousin), my mother's sister, my brother and his life partner and me. The mountain is home to a cemetery where generations of my family are buried. We have been planning this day for several months. The day in which these remnants of a family will celebrate the life of my younger brother who died in April. This is the last picture taken of my brother (in the middle with me on one side and our youngest brother on the other). My brother was not a person of faith. So crafting a memorial service to honor his life and embrace my family - some of whom are practicing Mormon, most of whom are either agnostic or people who have left the Mormon Church but not found another expression of faith - required much intentionality on my part. I hope the service is worshipful for us, I hope it honors my brother's life well enough. I hope we (or rather,

Last night I posted my summary of Soelle's argument on the impact of the "enlightenment" on prayer, religion, poetry, and our ability to describe our lived experiences through language that articulates mystery and leaves room for unanswered questions. The enlightenment era emphasized a logical, reasonable answer to every question. Now in our post-modern world we are returning to the notion that somethings will remain a mystery. We are once again taken by the language of the mystics and appreciate some wiggle room with the unknown. There are indeed questions we will never have the answer too this side of life. Why do some people die of suicide, for example, is one question I have been wrestling with. Why? Mother's I know who have lost children to death by suicide spend the rest of their lives asking this question, "Did you not know I loved you more than life itself?" and "How could you leave me with this hole in my life and a pain so deep I will never be

Last week's readings from Dorothee Soelle are among the most interesting and compelling I have read thus far in this summer course/retreat, "Soelle Summer" facilitated by Jane Redmont. Soelle writes with great clarity and conviction on the subject of lost language and the subsequent reality of lost experiences. The primary cause for lost language and the inability to articulate life experience is the impact of scientific methodology and the language of the enlightenment. The certainty of this method leads to a progression of thought that lacks narrative, denies the importance of lived experience, making data primary. Soelle writes: Regarding the "Professionalization of Theology" - Scientific thought and language are taking over and becoming our "theology" - the impact of this, according to Soelle, is a loss of language for prayer and narrative (telling stories/myth). As a society we are losing the language needed to articulate our life experiences -

I remember the first time I really heard the Passion of Jesus and the words, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Up to that point I am certain I only knew that part of the story as the Gospel of Luke tells it, “Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.” And, as the Fourth Gospel says, “Jesus said, ‘It is finished.’ “ I was so familiar with the unsuffering Jesus that I had no idea how to understand the Jesus who cried out in despair. I was a grown woman, hearing this for the first time. Since that day I have wrestled with what it means to think of Jesus as a human being that suffered, that loved, that cried, prayed, hoped, and died. In Jane Redmont’s summer course/retreat Soelle Summer, we are reflecting this week on Jesus/Christ as Soelle understood him. We are also pondering: “Who is Jesus for me? And, how and why do I have this understanding of Jesus/Christ?” Throughout my life I have struggled with the “person” of Jesus. Part of this struggle is grounded in m