Sunday...after a long week

Seems like every week is a long week these days. Not bad. (Well some of them have been bad, but not most of them). It's all part of the learning curve that comes with being new in an area and new to a parish community. Everything is new. And with that learning curve of newness comes a level of fatigue and some anxiety. The anxiety is mostly about not knowing people, so not knowing what is meant by one thing or another, and not knowing who the safe people are that I can speak to and trust that they will hold my questions in confidence and also answer truthfully.

There are a lot of weird dynamics going on. I can't really say what - but they are mostly interpersonal. I'm hiring a consultant - an unrelated church professional to talk things through with. And I'm reading a lot of books on this particular kind of leadership issue.

Yesterday I drove my son to the BIG BIG city to the north, a city that feels like where we came from, except for the mountains. It was a three hour drive, one way.

He hung out with a friend. I went to a restaurant and read and read. It was a working day for me. I read this book on the issues I'm facing and began to feel a little better. A little like I was beginning to have some creative ideas for approaching what is going on.

I also went to Barnes and Noble and bought poetry books. Actually I've been buying a lot of books lately. Good thing. The poetry books: Mary Oliver - "Red Bird"; Billy Collins, "Questions About Angels"; a poetry book edited by Billy Collins "Poetry 180: A Turning Back to Poetry, an anthology of Contemporary Poems"; and "Women in Praise of the Sacred" 43 Centuries of Spiritual Poetry by Women, edited by June Hirshfield.

I have not been home in days...between the trip north yesterday and two funerals this week and a busy church day today...I now face a full evening home with little to do. Except read the NY Times - which finally got delivered to my house.

I will also try to catch up on my blog friends - assuming my eyes don't give out and I really can read....

yes. the fatigue is such that I can't even read....just sit...

Comments

Barbara B. said…
wow, LOTS going on! I'm glad you hired a consultant -- that sounds like a good thing.

Take care of yourself!
Rev SS said…
I hear you about being too tired to read ... and commend you on getting the consultant sooner rather than later. For what it's worth, I say consider no one in the congregation "safe" You're in my prayers.
RevDrKate said…
Prayers to you. Take care of yourself, sounds like a heavy load and a steep curve.
Terri said…
revss: I agree...I am very careful...

Kate...heavy but not as weighty as where I was...unless I "fail"...

barb, the consultant comes highly recommended so it should be a good thing!
Jan said…
Hope you got lots of needed rest today. I'm glad the consultant is coming; a detached person is always helpful. Hope you can rest and let go of some of that normal anxiety.
((Mompriest))
Gannet Girl said…
Thanks for a great reading list!
Unknown said…
Ah, rest when you can!
Wow! I remember that feeling in a new place. Ditto what others said. And I'm volunteering for an interview. :-)
Diane M. Roth said…
wow. prayers for you, mompriest. starting in a new place CAN be exhausting. Hope you find a good personal sounding board there as well as the reading you are doing.
Wow. Whenever I'm in a new place, I always give myself a little breathing space before i make myself engage fully. Being a priest, you obviously can't do that. I'll pray for your adjustment time.
Jennifer said…
Are the members of the committee that interviewed you to be called safe?
It's always good to have safe folks to talk to...even within the fold.
Lori said…
Good for you hiring the consultant. An objective, knowledgeable ear who you know is on your side.

And then there's always us here too, for the stuff you can blog about anyway.

You have an army of support here and above!
mmm! exhausting! you're protecting your soul via some good poetry, though! i'm right behind ya' on _red bird_ -- can't wait!
Mary Beth said…
I'm with them. Good for you for getting an outside person to process with. And hope you will share here as you are able.

Will be praying much for you.
Anonymous said…
Prayers being sent your way... for rest... for vision... and for a new horizon.
Crimson Rambler said…
"Women in Praise of the Sacred" is GREAT...enjoy!
Katherine E. said…
Praying for you, mompriest. You have all you need.
Anonymous said…
Hope you get a chance to rest soon.
Unknown said…
Sorry, I haven't been by much.

TTFN.

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