Choosing Love

What if the basic element of life

all life, human life and plant life

animal life and life beyond this planet

what if the basic element of all life

is love, emanating through our heart

pulsing out into the universe

affecting every thing and every one?

Love.

What if the basic nature of humankind

is love? Not greed. Not arrogance. 

Not superiority, not aggression,

Love. 

What if we have it wrong, to think

that more is better, that bigger is better,

that more and bigger means powerful? 

What if that is not really true?

Because nothing in nature 

ever takes more 

than it needs 

but when it does, 

it dies. 

Cancer. 

Cancer takes more than it needs.

Cancer is a disease that can kill

because it has no boundaries, no limits

takes more than it needs. 

And so it is

when humans do that,

 take more and more

and let others suffer and have less, 

then human kind fails, becomes dis-eased,

dies.

What if we imagine a different world?

A world of love and life, of light and hope

of kindness and compassion, of

possibility? 

What if it all begins with one person

with your, or me? Just one person

aiming to make a difference. 

Instead of acting out in anger,

reach out in kindness. 

Imagine that everyone

 is doing the best they can

That I am doing the best I can

and you are doing the best you can

and while that is not really enough, 

since God asks us to keep on growing

it’s good enough if we are trying

taking risks, being courageous,

for love.

What if we truly acted as though a tiny act of kindness

could ripple through everything, 

and soon everything would change.

Love.

Take a moment just to breathe. Close your eyes if it helps to focus on your breath. Let yourself take deep breaths.

We live in an anxious world today filled with anger and fear. Much of that anger and fear is justified, the news lets us know that we have lots to fear and if we care about justice for all people, lots to be angry about. 

I believe this anger and fear is at epidemic proportions, have become the dis-ease of our lifetimes, and that they live in and through us in ways we aren’t even aware of and seek ways to be expressed and expelled, with the hope that we can be relieved of them.

I have lived every day for the last five years with chronic depression. Not clinical depression like put me on medication, but chronic depression because of the state of the world we live in. 

Every day I have to make a choice to be depressed or to live with love and hope. Jesus, have mercy on me.

Today is supposed to be the pastor’s stewardship sermon where I tell you all that giving to the church, pledging your money to the church will grow your spiritual lives. 

And maybe it will. Herb Miller says so in his book, Consecration Sunday, and he says if only we follow, exactly, what he tells us, we will grow the income of this church and people will grow spiritually. 

I have worked with consecration Sunday principles for nearly 15 years, so there is truth to what he says. 

And I understand the value of a church budget and I know how to live in a tight budget, I’ve been doing it my entire life. Well there was one year, after I graduated from seminary when Dan and I were both gainfully employed, when our only debt was student loans, and we have money in the bank. But since sept 11, 2001, that has not been our reality. I have been paying on my student loans for 17 years and I won’t have them paid off until 2034, when I am 76 years old. Student loan interest rate has gone up from 1% to 6.25% set by congress. Like many other people, I owe more now in student loans than I did when I graduated, and that’s after paying $600 month for 17 years. 

I understand money, budgets, and how to live carefully. It’s the reality of my life and of every church I have worked with.

But here’s the thing. Money is not the most important thing, it is not what I care about. Money just is.

What I care about is living a transformational life, of learning and growing and becoming the best version of myself that I can be. And as your Rector, I care about the same thing for each of you and for this parish. 

What I care about is our ability to go deep. That’s a phrase that the preacher at diocesan convention used this weekend, go deep for Jesus. Go deep into your lives, grow deep relationships built on the principles Jesus teaches, go deep on love.

I believe that Connie, our icon of Jesus, of God came to us for a reason. She came as the image of that which many of us fear - a homeless women in our church. She came as a sign of danger, of mental illness, of risk, and threat, and fear, of potential theft. Someone called the police to come get her out of the church. Then someone came and found me.

But what happened is, our church is open. And Connie found her way into the building and into the church where she came to pray.

She came to pray. Jesus have mercy on me.

The question I have asked is the same one that the diocesan preacher asked, the Bishop of Atlanta, Rob Wright, what is our purpose.

What is our purpose, Christ Church of Dearborn? What is your purpose? And what is my purpose?

I believe Connie points us to our purpose. She said, I just want to pray. One purpose we have every day is to pray. Jesus have mercy on me. 

Part of that purpose of prayer is to respond to Connie’s two questions: Will God come? and, Who owns this place, this church?

My answer to her is yes, God always comes. God comes in you and in me, God comes in our capacity to live with love. And God owns this church, not you and not me. God. This is God’s house.

God calls us to live risky lives for the Gospel. Jesus did. And we are supposed to as well. There are no guarantees in living a risky life, except that we are striving to live as God desires, to live with love. Jesus have mercy.

All around us life is fragile, fraught, anxious, and lots to be afraid of. Mass shootings are at epidemic proportions. No where feels safe. No where is safe. And nothing we do will actually make us safe, because if someone wants to commit a crime of violence they will find a way to do so. Just ask any woman who has been stalked, any woman who lives with a violent intimate partner, any one who lives with domestic violence. Or, just look at the world around us. No place is safe. This morning we mourn for those who lost their lives at the synagog in Pennsylvania, Tree of Life. Every day, every single day there is another shooting. Life is violent. Anger and fear are dominant emotions.

Jesus have mercy.

And so every day I have a choice to make. Live in anger and fear. Let my tight budget define me and add to my anxiety and fear. 

Or, I can choose to live in love. Jesus have mercy. I can choose. I can choose. Somedays my effort to choose fails. But many days love wins. I get up and place before the desire to love. Jesus have mercy.  And I do. I live with love.

And I hope and pray that you do to. Give to the church, it might grow you spiritually. But give from love and live from love. Choose love. Jesus have mercy. 

I wish I could capture the gentle morning light

soft lavender and pink, caressing the green trees

that hold a hint of fall, a little red and yellow

I wish I could capture the peace of early light

the song of birds waking and rabbits nibbling clover

signs that life goes on no matter the angst of humans

I wish I could hold the beauty of this world

before all the anger and angst and fear of people

and say, all will be well if we but love one another

I wish I could hold the love that God has 

for God's creatures and creation as an embrace

a holding place of calm and peace and grace

I wish I could carry everyone in this holding place

and soothe the worries with a gentle touch to furrowed brows

with a pat on the back and soothing sway, like calming babies

I wish that each one of us could look at one's self

and wonder, how could I be different? What is being triggered in me?

Instead of casting out anxiety, taking time to understand self.

I wish for a world that embraces the rich diversity of life

and holds it as a sign of God's creativity, made in God's vast image

I wish that the beauty of this world defined who we are and how we are.

This I pray, on an early morning, as the sun slowly rises,

the night fades, and a new day begins. 

Amen.

a reflection on  Proper 25B: 

Mark 10:46-52

⁴⁶They came to Jericho. As he and his disciples and a large crowd were leaving Jericho, Bartimaeus son of Timaeus, a blind beggar, was sitting by the roadside. ⁴⁷When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout out and say, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” ⁴⁸Many sternly ordered him to be quiet, but he cried out even more loudly, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” ⁴⁹Jesus stood still and said, “Call him here.” And they called the blind man, saying to him, “Take heart; get up, he is calling you.” ⁵⁰So throwing off his cloak, he sprang up and came to Jesus. ⁵¹Then Jesus said to him, “What do you want me to do for you?” The blind man said to him, “My teacher, let me see again.” ⁵²Jesus said to him, “Go; your faith has made you well.” Immediately he regained his sight and followed him on the way.