Seeking Authentic Voice

It's Lent. My goal is to simplify my life for Lent. Slow down. Spend more time with my dogs, who have been virtually ignored this last month and half - between bitterly cold weather or mud, multiple search committee essays and phone interviews, and everyday church stuff - I.HAVE.BEEN.TOO.BUSY. Today I will send off my responses to the last search process I am entering. One church has notified me that they called someone else - which is good, I suspected that and would have pulled out if it went further... Three churches have my references, although no one has been called, yet. Two more churches are just receiving my essay responses...So....now... Slow down. breath. work at a normal pace. find the rhythm to my life again. pray. exercise...

Oh dear, it's Sunday morning and I am sick...cold, sore throat, and intestinal flu....been up, off and on, since 1:00am dealing with the intestinal stuff...drinking black tea only and hoping I can make it through two services that will only have a handful of people because the weather here is so bad...no cancelling though, not bad enough....snow but no blizzard, ice but not enough to stop everything...so.I. am. going. to. church. At least it seems the cold meds, tylenol, and black tea are finally doing their job to keep my symptoms at bay and let me function... But, after church, I'm coming home to sleep.

Monday. My day off. And today, I'm taking it. After a week of celebrating my 50th birthday I need to rest. I need to eat light and healthy. I need to exercise. And, I have a busy week ahead so, I'm taking this day off. Tuesday will be filled with setting up the church for Lent, changing everything to purple and muslin, plain. No flowers, vases of bare branches, rocks, and images of a journey. Burning palm branches to make ashes for Ash Wed. Setting up fellowship hall for a festive dinner for Shrove Tues and to raise funds for refugee families. Plus a regional clergy gathering... Wed. Ash Wed...fasting, ashes, I need a homily, three services. chiropractor appointment. Thursday: meetings. dentist (yikes first appointment since my infection last fall, new dentist). tea with women's clergy group. prepare for vestry retreat and Sunday. Write sermon for Sunday? Friday: pack and head off for vestry retreat Saturday: continue vestry retreat...

Monday. My day off. After a week of celebrating my 50th B-D I need to exercise and eat well, s0 I'm taking a real day off! I need to rest before the busy week kicks in. Tuesday set up church for Lent (a big deal, we change a lot), plus a meeting with the regional clergy, and then set up and participate in Shrove Tues. celebration to raise funds for refugee families. Wed - Ash Wed., 'nuff said. Thursday - meetings, dentist (yikes first visit since my infection last fall, new dentist...) and prepare for vestry retreat. Also, tea with my women's clergy group - yeah!!! Friday - work in office for Sunday set up, pack and leave for vestry retreat Sat. Vestry retreat and meeting... Oh, and I need to write a homily for Ash Wed. and a sermon for Sunday.... But on this day off I am going to rest. walk dogs. blog. read. maybe go out for lunch?

From the RevGals Blog: It seems like this topic has been done before, but I can't find it in the archives, so......I am downtown on retreat this week. Most of the retreatants are from out of town, so I get to experience this place through the eyes of visitors. So in the spirit of tourism: 1. What is one place you make sure to take out-of-town guests when they visit? Most of the folks I know live around here, so I don't have a lot of out of town guests. But there is so much to do here (Chicago area), so the great museums are a must: Museum of Science and Industry, Field Museum of Natural History, Art Institute, The Aquarium and Oceanarium, plus lots of theater, dance and excellent restaurants. 2. When visiting another city or town, do you try to cram as much in as possible, or take it slow and easy? Usually when I go out of town it is either for a job interview or to see family. So, of course the job interview time includes trying to get a good feel for the city and community b...

Well, the day has finally arrived, my 50 th birthday. Hard to believe I began this blog six months ago, in anticipation of this day. Waiting for it, moving into it, was intense some days, easy others, and included some real dark days when I was sick. Now, thanks to some amazing care by a Jungian therapist and a chiropractor (both named Steve....we're looking at my "inner Steve", that part of myself that is being developed, the male side of me?? which came up from my dream about the vestry retreat, a Tsunami, and a male guide who led me to safety....) I am doing better than I have for years. I feel strong, centered, calm, even happy. Nothing has really changed. I am still looking for a new job. I still have lots of stress. I still have all the same stuff...but I feel good. Go figure. It's not about denial but about facing life head on. Recently I went out and bought two new dresses for my birthday. One, a slim black dress for dinner tonight with kids and hubby. We...

We have a blizzard. Well, almost white-out conditions, strong wind blowing and lots of snow. A perfect day for me to slow down. I get to cancel all my meetings and appointments...and ponder what I will do with this day. Some sermon prep for Sunday? Work on my packet for CREDO (an Episcopal Church sponsored 8 day retreat for clergy to review vocation, spirituality, finances, life, etc. and I have been invited to attend in April YEA!!!! - but there is lots of prep work to do). And I need to review the answers I wrote yesterday for the search committee and then send them off. But I can do all of this in a leisurely fashion. What a gift, an unplanned day off, at least from my appointment schedule. Plus, it is really pretty outside. Would be perfect if I had a fireplace...