Monday, July 25, 2016

This is my song

It's become a bit too routine, my tossing and turning and waking up at 3:30am on the night that follows a particular meeting. Why I toss and turn is more about me and my reaction to the dynamic in the meeting, than it is about anything that is actually said or done. Still, my reaction speaks to a reality of being a woman in leadership. It acknowledges a general sense that resides within me, one I don't appreciate and wish would go away or resolve itself, or at the very least, I wish I weren't so aware of the dynamic and the ongoing slights that happen in the meeting, the way a woman is treated, me and others.

No, it's never my intention to wake up fretful, but still I do. This morning I gave in to the insomnia and headache, and got up at 4:30. I fed the dogs, and made coffee. Thunder and lightning ignited the tropical-like air outside and finally released the rain, a gentle soaking to quench the dry and dusty earth of my backyard. I opened the sliding glass door and closed the screen, so I could hear the rain fall. This is wasteful, the air conditioner is running. Yet, this hot dry summer and my fretful night of sleep were soothed by the sound of rain, and now, afterward, the chirp of crickets. I've always loved the song of crickets, they remind me of open windows, summer nights, and the rare moments of peace in my childhood.

My fretful, insomniac state is the result of a longing that goes unfulfilled. I long to live a life transformed, to be the best version of myself that I can be. I long to be an agent of transformation for others as well. Isn't that part of the calling of a parish priest, to be transformational?

Yet, I find that rather then be transformational, I feel confined, limited, minimized, and devalued. Is this not how many women feel? The subtle words and behavior that diminish the work a woman does. It becomes a daily, an hourly, struggle to believe in my worth and keep going.

Perhaps that is one reason why I respect Hillary Clinton so much. God knows she is devalued and diminished and maligned in ways I have never been nor could imagine. She's a woman in leadership and how she is treated exemplifies how all women are treated. I wonder if she has sleepless nights? I wonder how she manages to keep going? Clearly she has a call to be transformational, and the stamina to live into that call. She gives me hope.

On this hot summer morning, the dawn of the Democratic National Convention, I am restless, headachy, and fretful. I am also just a little excited and hopeful. I plan to watch this convention, although I did my best to ignore all the news about the Republican one last week. Usually I try to watch some of both, but this year I wanted nothing to do with the RNC. There is no hope in the GOP, just more angst. I don't need anymore of that.

I'm almost sixty years old, and like this summer I am getting dry and dusty. My opportunities to make a difference are waning. Part of me would love to just retire and live in the background, and perhaps I will one day. For now, I have another decade of work. I have to work, I am still paying off student loans, loans that afforded me the education to do the very job that sometimes leaves me fretful and sleepless. How ironic. Considering I have another ten years to work, it leaves me wondering how I will get along? Will I just hang in there and do what needs to be done, but nothing more? (That's tempting!). Will I find some kind of inspiration? Or, rather, will inspiration find me? Will I finally retire with a sense of satisfaction, well done good and faithful servant?

I have no idea.

All I know is that on this steamy morning I am taking some small pleasure in the sound of the rain and the song of crickets.

Friday, July 15, 2016

Friday Five - light

Julie over at the RevGalBlogPals offers this Friday Five meme:

Friends, the times may be dark, the days uncertain, but this we know – God is light and life and love and together we can overcome. 
Today for your Friday Five contributions – share your favourite bible verses, photos, times of day and poetry – in any combination you choose in order to shed light on our darkened world.
1. Favorite Bible verse: I really can't choose just one. I could use the same verse Julie selected, from the prologue to the Gospel of John. That verse, and the idea of God expressing God's self as "word" into the world, word that took human flesh, has really formed my understanding of faith, who I am and who God is. But this morning I'm choosing this one:
Six days before the Passover Jesus came to Bethany, the home of Lazarus, whom he had raised from the dead. 2There they gave a dinner for him. Martha served, and Lazarus was one of those at the table with him. 3Mary took a pound of costly perfume made of pure nard, anointed Jesus’ feet, and wiped them* with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. 4But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples (the one who was about to betray him), said, 5‘Why was this perfume not sold for three hundred denarii* and the money given to the poor?’ 6(He said this not because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief; he kept the common purse and used to steal what was put into it.)7Jesus said, ‘Leave her alone. She bought it* so that she might keep it for the day of my burial. 8You always have the poor with you, but you do not always have me.’ 
I was a massage therapist for many years and I know the healing power of touch, appropriate, compassionate, Spirit filled touch. In times like these, with so much violence all around us, it helps to lift up people who are kind. But not only is Mary kind, but she's brave, radical in her bravery to enter the room and do this act of kindness. Kindness, brave acts of kindness in a world that promotes and publishes violence more than love.


Sunrise: I love to wake up early and watch the sun rise, lighting up the world. This is especially lovely when the windows are open and I can hear the birds chattering. Oh! They can be so loud, and of such variety, it makes me chuckle. Waking up to laughter is a good thing, even when it's something as small as the sounds of nature.


This is the view from my kitchen, it's the labyrinth and pet memorial garden in the back area of the church property. I brought the idea of the pet memorial garden to this parish and we built it with some memorial gift monies that we had in reserve, we also added the benches and flower pots and three new trees, in order to really make this a place of prayer and respite. It's open to the public. I also interred the ashes of many of our beloved pets in the memorial garden, grateful to have a beautiful home for them. Many people come and walk the labyrinth or sit on the benches, and it's always a reminder that the church offers so much more than just Sunday morning worship, much of which may go unnoticed. 


Here is where I sit, on the deck in the backyard, to look out over the labyrinth. I like to fill it with flowers. Lots of birds feed at the feeder and squirrels and rabbits eat the seed that drops on the ground. We laugh a lot at the wildlife that shows up, offering us a simple reprieve from the angst that prevails in much of the news and world around us. This is a favorite spot of mine for coffee in the morning or iced tea in the afternoon.


In times of sorrow, in times of joy, friends are a gift. I am blessed to have some really wonderful friends. 

The last two photos: a Baltimore Oriole showed up at our hummingbird feeder! And, our dogs are a constant source of delight. This one is our newest, one year old Lila, with her buddy, Oliver, our daughter's dog. Olive comes to visit several times a year. 

Life is full of strife. The world is particularly violent and anxious. Human beings are often on edge and reactive instead of thoughtful and responsive. When we are able to be a little less anxious we are able to tap into more creative and interesting responses. 

I pray for peace, for creativity, for hope. I trust that love, God's love, will prevail, will find a way through the limitations of human nature, and restore the kind of world that God desires.

Monday, July 11, 2016

What to say, what to do?

The Sunday after Senator Gabbi Giffords was shot, in a mass shooting in Tucson, Arizona, I went to church hoping to hear some reflection on that violence. However the preacher that morning did not address it in his sermon, although Giffords and the other victims were lifted up in the Prayers of the People. Still, I found the lack of comment in the sermon to be unsettling, it taught me that as priests and preachers we need to be willing to address the tragedies and current events in the context of the scripture readings, to place the confusion and horror and sorrow in the history of God's action in the world. 

So it was a bit of challenge for me to figure out how to address the recent killings of two more black men and the mass shooting of police officers in Dallas in the context of our planned summer sermon time. We had planned to hold congregational dialogues in our sermon time. My concern was that people would skirt the issue rather than face it head on. I wanted to facilitate a conversation that would prod us to look deeper into the reading and face the reality of racism in this country and the violent way it is playing out. Here is what I said:

Today begins our summer dialogue on the Gospel of Luke. This conversation will take the place of the sermon time. It is an invitation for people in the pews to ask questions, but it's not a question and answer time with the priest, it’s a time of contemplation. So you can ask and respond to questions among your selves, comment on what was "heard" in the readings. I will facilitate the conversation. It’s a spiritual dialogue. This Sunday the reading in Luke is the parable of the Good Samaritan where-in we will ponder, 

"Who is our neighbor?" 

In light of all the violence, the seemingly ceaseless killings, the fear, anger, and rising tide of prejudice, especially this week - it is a fair question for the Gospel to ask of us. Who is our neighbor? And, "How do we care for the stranger?"

 Jesus asks this of us, and it's a timely question, the change this world needs begins with us."

Here is some of what was said by members of the parish:

"We need to see everyone as our neighbor, to see everyone as the same, no more color."

The challenge with that premise is that it glosses over the reality that racism is a systematic and institutional reality in our society which has caused deep hurt. While it can be a goal to work toward, it needs first for us, white folk, to acknowledge the racism and work to understand it, end it in all of its ways, work for reconciliation and healing.

Another person said:

"The problem with love your neighbor is that we tend to only want to love the neighbor who looks like us, we don't see or love those who look different than we do."

I think this comment gets at the heart of our unrecognized prejudice. Often we do not even see the ways we are manifesting prejudice. Instead we tend to demonize others and name them as unworthy to be our neighbor. I spoke about how, whenever there is violence like there was this week, I am painfully reminded that I am part of the problem, even though I did not pull the trigger. As part of the privilege white class in the United States I am part of the systemic and institutionalized racism that exits. I manifest its reality in ways I don't intend and racism resides in me in ways I am unaware of. The burden is on me to become aware and work to change this. I then suggested that as a parish we need to read and discuss Michelle Alexander's book, "The New Jim Crow."

Other good conversation took place, with members of the parish being brave and willing to speak up. We concluded the conversation in each of the three services with the following prayer:

From page 815 in the Book of Common Prayer: prayer for the human family 

O God, you made us in your own image and redeemed us through Jesus your Son: Look with compassion on the whole human family; take away the arrogance and hatred which infect our hearts; break down the walls that separate us; unite us in bonds of love; and work through our struggle and
confusion to accomplish your purposes on earth; that, in your good time, all nations and races may serve you in harmony around your heavenly throne; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Then I said:

Pray especially for the Dallas shooting victims: Brent Thompson, Patrick Zamarripa, Michael Krol, Mike Smith, and Loren Aherns. Pray also for the broken soul of the shooter, Micah Johnson. And for the shooting victims Philando Castile and Alton Sterling. With God's love may they rest in peace and may their loved ones who remain in this realm find comfort in the love and grace of God.

The rise in violence in this country is a reminder that some places of this world face violence every moment of the day, that children are raised in fear and violence and death, that parents bury their young too early, that pride, arrogance, prejudice, greed, racism, xenophobia, and all the ways we marginalize human beings, are ways that humans turn away from God and fail to live as God would have us live. I pray for peace.

Saturday, July 02, 2016

Adjust the mirror and forge ahead

I admit, there are days when I wonder if there is a God. I mean, days when I am worn thin from the onslaught of violence, the destruction of terrible weather, the cruelty of human beings and our tendency toward prejudice and bigotry and self entitlement, the nature of politics in this, and other countries, and a general discouraging sense of reality, I wonder about God. Where is God when this stuff is going on? When I hear an athlete or someone else state, “God was with me,” I always think, and God wasn’t with the losers? Why would God choose one person or one set of circumstances in which to intervene, but not another? Why would God answer some prayers and not others? It’s never good when I start down that path. Let’s just say, it’s a curious process to be a parish priest and wonder if God exists. It does a number on my spirit, not to mention the moral, ethical, and psychological challenges I have to navigate to reconcile this. 

On other occasions, paradoxically also a “lowest of low days,” I have no doubt that God exists, that life will be transformed, that resurrection and new life are a reality, and that God is guiding everything toward the hope that God has for all of creation.

 Regardless of which side of the dilemma I am wresting with, I always end up in the same place. Trust. I trust that God exists and that God desires me and you, all of us, all of creation, to live healthy lives that are reasonably happy. 

The trust is a bit paradoxical, trusting that in which I have doubts. However, paradox is at the heart of our readings today, as we hear stories of people experiencing God in unexpected ways. 

In 2 Kings Naaman is a powerful general and like many people of his stature he is a bit full of himself. Even when he is ill with leprosy, a horrible skin disease, he remains prideful and arrogant. It’s a bit surprising then that Naaman listens to the voice of an unnamed young slave girl as she directs him to Elisha, toward a source of healing. Less surprising is Naaman’s response to Elisha’s cure – bathing in a muddy river – who in their right mind would want to do that? But, eventually Naaman is persuaded to bathe and he is healed. 
God shows up in unexpected ways, even to people like Naaman, people who have no faith and don’t believe in God.
The heart of the Gospel reading this morning conveys a similar idea. Jesus speaks of sending his disciples out - and today those disciples are you and me – sent out to share the Good News. Sent out too love generously, to help, to share, to grow in relationship with strangers and, if what we offer is rejected, our task is not to judge, but to let it be, shake the dust off our feet,  and simply continue to share God’s love as generously as we can. 
The readings remind us that the kingdom of God is an unfolding process. It’s a kingdom that requires us to not become stuck in safety, comfort, pride, or arrogance. Living in the kingdom of God we are asked to stretch ourselves in love and for the love of God...and in so doing open the way for God to come into the world anew this day, every day, in simple, ordinary ways. As we participate in the unfolding process of God’s kingdom we are formed and informed by our faith in God and in God’s love as it is revealed in the person of Jesus. 2000 years of Christians have been assured by this faith.
And yet, faith is paradoxical. Faith is wrestling. Faith is asking difficult questions that have no answers. Faith requires tenacity. Faith is the ability to live in the abstract, and manage one’s anxiety and desire for absolutes that never come. Faith is trust. 

So, I guess I’ll have to keep wrestling with faith and belief, and the hope that I’ll recognize God when God shows up. Usually I only see God, like a beautiful sunset in my rearview mirror - something I might miss if I’m not looking, something I only see in hindsight. It’s for this reason, having seen God often enough in my rearview mirror, that I have come to trust that God is present. On those days when it gets really bad I just have to adjust the mirror and forge ahead.

a reflection on the readings for Proper 9C: 2nd Kings 5:1-14; Luke 10:1-11; 16-20

Saturday, June 25, 2016

Adapt, just another way of saying Follow Me (Jesus)

A few weeks ago two of the trees in the backyard of the rectory had to be cut down, they were in such poor health that it was just a matter of time before the fell over, taking the rectory and garage with them. Still, they were giant trees that offered a lot of shade over the house and yard, and they were home to many squirrels and birds. One squirrel use to taunt my dogs and yell at them, as if to say, this yard is mine!
But now, with the trees gone, the yard seems barren. The ferns and ivy along the garage are drying up because of too much sun, which is not a tragedy - it was too overgrown anyway. The lawn is rutted from accommodating the heavy trucks and cranes that cut the trees down and turned them into the wood chips. Eventually the grass will come back, especially because Dan is leveling the ruts, spreading out grass seed, and watering it.
Most curious and amusing is how the animals have adapted. The other morning I saw one of the squirrels rolling around and around in the dirt used to filled the hole where a tree trunk was removed. I imagine this was the squirrel who use to live in that tree, now come to love the dirt and relish in the remains of its former home. After a bit of rolling around it bounced off toward the labyrinth and whatever tree it found to make a new home. 
Birds are having a literal field day with the dried grass, plucking it feverishly, and dunking the brittle mouthfuls in the bird bath before flying off to build a new nest in one of the other trees. Amazingly, the yard and the animals that live there, including Dan and I and our dogs, are all adapting to the changed landscape.
I think that’s how God created us and the world - to be adaptive in order to survive and grow. When there is so much reactivity and fear being manifested in the world today, when violence is prevalent and tragedy a daily occurrence, we are challenged to adapt, grow, follow Jesus and in as creative a way as possible, striving to be God’s love in the world. No doubt there are challenges one encounters when one follows Jesus, when one brings forth God’s love in the world. Challenges of resistance from one’s self or others, like the Samaritans. Like the people in the Gospel we too can be stopped by the challenges and pressures we feel in our own lives, the many cares and concerns that we have, the fears that could stop us cold, the risk that feels too great, or even the apathy that can rise up from trying for so long that one is worn out or has given up. 
I’m particularly tired of hearing that the church is dying. First of all, I don’t believe it. What I do think is that church as it was in the 1950’s is dying. What is rising up however are smaller church communities that survive because they are clear about their purpose. The church is about lives that are transformed and people who are loved. The church is about spreading God’s love and compassion into the world. The church is about offering people a means by which to find their purpose in life, to help people live meaningful lives, because they participate in what God is doing in the world. Like Elisha seeing God at work in Elijah’s rising up in a chariot of fire, God’s action in the world is visible when one knows how to recognize it. Foxes have holes and birds have nests, because, instead of regressing to conflict and angst, these creatures are able to adapt when the world as they know it changes. 
Our purpose at Christ Church, at this time in our lives, is to feed people. From the community garden to the labyrinth to the exterior plaza; from the food pantry to Blessings in a Backpack, from the Liberia SCHOOL project to our Christian Formation and the many people we have and are mentoring into the priesthood, from martial arts to dance and music, these are just a few of the ways we feed people in mind, body, and spirit, following Jesus along the way, and being God’s hands and heart in the world. 

a reflection on the readings for Proper 8C: 2 Kings: 1-2, 6-14 and Luke 9:51-62

Saturday, June 18, 2016

God's beloved: you, me, everyone

In 1978, to help pay my way through college, I had a job as a waitress. One of my friends at the restaurant was a striking woman - tall, with tattoos and piercings that were unusual for 1978, her hair cut and dyed in a kind of punkish style that became popular years later. She and I spent a fair amount of time together. Eventually she told me that she was going to move to the east coast and asked me if I could store her things until she got settled and could come back for them. My friend was a lesbian and she yearned to live in a community where she could be herself, without prejudice and fear of repercussions. A few months after she left, she returned and got her stuff and moved away for good. I’ve never seen again, but I hope that she found the life she longed for. 
A few years later I lived in a different Chicago neighborhood, off of Broadway and Belmont, a an area with a high population of gay and lesbian people. I remember some of the first gay pride parades streaming down Broadway. Occasionally I went to a lesbian bar with my girlfriends, we were heterosexual women, but we went to this bar because when we were there no one bothered us, we felt safe in a room full of other women. 
I think a lot these days about racism, sexism, genderism, and the various groups of people that are subjected to prejudice and marginalized in our society. Family Systems theory, which I have studied for twenty years, suggests that our society creates groups to scapegoat in order to project our anxiety onto that group and therefore not deal with what is at the root of our cultural angst - that being, according to this theory, centuries of unresolved conflict over the class differences between rich and poor and middle class white people. A Christian moral ethicist once wrote that when a society begins to make women full and equal in its culture it then opens the door for other segments to move toward equality. When women are considered property that society doesn’t even see other groups of minorities. The point is, when people are anxious they always look for someone else to blame and thus alleviate some anxiety by projecting it onto the scapegoat. Jesus was a scapegoat between Jews and Romans, between belief in the one God and the Emperor. Life would be better if we could work at the root cause of our conflicts and the anxiety within our selves instead of looking for someone to blame. The emperor of Rome didn’t need to be so jealous and insecure, the early Christians and Jews could have been faithful to God and still have been obedient citizens. People of one faith do not need to disparage people of another, nor do we need to condemn others in the name of God, as if God is jealous and insecure. Any understanding of God as one who condemns human beings because of their faith, race, ethnicity, gender, or any other limiting criteria is a human construct because every religion has the same core value, “do unto others as you would do unto yourself.”
Clearly I am just trying to process another senseless tragedy, this time the killing of 49 people, gay and lesbian, at the Pulse night club in Orlando. As Christians we have moral and ethical values that state that we are to love everyone, respect the dignity of every human being. Which means that the burden is put on each one of us individually to work through the challenges of what it means to love as God loves. Love, instead of projecting our fears and worries, and demonizing other people. 
Paul in the letter to the Galatians describes a new reality, birthed into existence with the resurrection of Jesus. There is, he says, no distinction between one human being and another, we are all alike in God’s eyes. No male or female, no Jew or Greek, all the same to God. 

But in reality, we are all different. No two people are the same. In the earthly realm we live in, it is our differences, our unique, God given differences, that enrich the world. Each person, each segment of society, rich and poor, educated or not, black, white, brown, male, female, gay, lesbian, bi, transgendered, all of us, is made in God’s image. Our creation story in Genesis reminds us that every expression of creation, every manifestation of humanity, reveals an aspect of God’s nature. It takes all of us as a whole, combined together to see the fullness of God and then to realize that for all the differences we see among us God sees us as one and the same, loved equally for being exactly who we are, made in God’s image. Made good to do good. Seen this way, there is no us and them, there’s only God’s beloved, you, me, everyone. 
a reflection on the readings for Proper 7C: Galatians 3:23-29

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Prayers for Orlando

Prayers of the People, a litany in response to violence in the world

Presider  As we strive to be the means through which God’s grace spreads among us, let us offer prayers for the families, friends and victims of the Orlando shooting, the whole world and for every person in every need.


For every gathering, for the safety of all people.

For all nations, peoples, tribes, clans, and families.

For an end to the violence that plagues our nation and our world. For sin of prejudice: race, gender, ethnicity, religion and every form and way it manifests in ourselves, our institutions, our religions, and our society.

For mercy, justice, and peace throughout the world.

For the city of Orlando, this city and for every place.

For all those in danger and need: the sick and the suffering, the hungry and the oppressed, travelers and prisoners, the dying and the dead, especially for those who died in Orlando: 

Edward Sotomayor Jr., (34 years old)
Stanley Almodovar III, (23 years old)
Luis Omar Ocasio-Capo, (20 years old)
Juan Ramon Guerrero, (22 years old)
Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera, (36 years old) Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz, (22 years old) Luis S. Vielma, (22 years old) Kimberly Morris, (37 years old) Eddie Jamoldroy Justice, (30 years old) Darryl Roman Burt II, (29 years old) Deonka Deidra Drayton, (32 years old) Alejandro Barrios Martinez, (21 years old) Anthony Luis Laureanodisla, (25 years old) Jean Carlos Mendez Perez, (35 years old) Franky Jimmy Dejesus Velazquez, (50 years old) Amanda Alvear, (25 years old) Martin Benitez Torres, (33 years old) Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon, (37 years old) Mercedez Marisol Flores, (26 years old) Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado, (35 years old) Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez, (25 years old) Simon Adrian Carrillo Fernandez, (31 years old) Oscar A Aracena-Montero, (26 years old) Enrique L. Rios, Jr., (25 years old) Miguel Angel Honorato, (30 years old)

Javier Jorge-Reyes, (40 years old)
Joel Rayon Paniagua, (32 years old) Jason Benjamin Josaphat, (19 years old) Cory James Connell, (21 years old) Juan P. Rivera Velazquez, (37 years old) Luis Daniel Conde, (39 years old) Shane Evan Tomlinson, (33 years old) Juan Chevez-Martinez, (25 years old) Jerald Arthur Wright, (31 years old) Leroy Valentin Fernandez, (25 years old) Tevin Eugene Crosby, (25 years old)


Are there others? (Pause) We pray for all those who mourn, for those whom we love but see no longer. Grant to them eternal rest. Let light perpetual shine upon them.

For ourselves, our families, and those we love.

May God, who scatters the seed of faith, hear the prayers we offer this day and make everything new; through Jesus Christ our Lord. 

O God, you made us in your own image and redeemed us through Jesus your Son: Look with compassion on all affected by the senseless killings everywhere, especially those recently in Orlando, Florida; extend your mercy to the whole human family; take away the arrogance and hatred which infect our hearts; break down the walls that separate us; unite us in bonds of love, help us to truly respect the integrity of every human being; and help us to work through our struggle and confusion to accomplish your purposes on earth; that, in your good time, all nations, all people may serve you in harmony through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

The refrain was purchased at GIA sacred music . Please purchase your own copy for use. The prayers are an adaptation from one of the prayers (I don't remember which one) from O Plater Prayers. The collect at the end is an adaption of the prayer for the human family found in the Book of Common Prayer on page 815. 

Friday, June 10, 2016

Reap what you sow

Over the centuries people of many faith traditions have been captivated by the transformation that happens in the chrysalis stage of the butterfly and have compared it to spiritual transformation. I don’t know if  you have ever really thought about what happens during the chrysalis stage. I guess I always thought it was something like hibernation - except during this hibernation the caterpillar grows wings. It turns out, however, that the process is much more startling. 

If one were to cut open a chrysalis one would not find a caterpillar growing wings. Instead one would find nothing but a gooey mess. It’s shocking, actually. The caterpillar completes dissolves and there remains no distinguishing features of either the caterpillar or the butterfly. Then somehow this gooey mess reforms itself and a butterfly is released from the shell. 

Scientists who have studied butterflies have wondered how this gooey mess becomes a butterfly. There is no firm answer to this and other questions. For example, are the caterpillar and butterfly two separate beings? Or does the butterfly retain some of its memory of being a caterpillar? 

To figure this out scientist subjected caterpillars to a strong, offensive odor which made the caterpillar move away from the scent. After the caterpillar had metamorphosed into a butterfly they subjected the butterfly to the same scent, and the butterfly moved away from the scent. Despite all this disintegration into a gooey mess there remained some kind of conscious memory from caterpillar to butterfly.

In addition, if one were to slice open a caterpillar, before it formed the chrysalis, one would see that the inside lining of the caterpillar skin contains the beginning structure of the butterfly, its wings and skeleton. So when the caterpillar constructs the shell and disintegrates into goo, some aspect of the butterfly it will become is embedded within the walls and goo of the chrysalis. 

The caterpillar contains everything it is and ever will be inside of itself just waiting for it to be revealed. Spiritual mystics of all faith traditions have alluded to this very idea for human beings as well. We contain within us all we will ever be, given to us by our creator, and it is revealed in and through our lives. As Christians we understand this as a process, a gift, of the Holy Spirit. 

Our readings today all point to the idea of lives in transition, lives being formed and transformed, some growing in faith and maturity, others falling to their own failures - as God says in the reading from 1 Kings, you reap what you sow. Whether one is like Jezebel, who will do anything to help her husband feel better, each of us have times in our lives when we want to ease the anguish of a loved one or friend, even at the expense of good judgment, choosing to stop anxiety rather than fix the real problem. Edwin Friedman, a noted author and rabbi who studied families in congregations even wrote a book on the topic and titled it, “Failure of Nerve.” The point of the book is that leaders, people of faith, often choose the comfortable route of easing anxiety rather than have the courage to do what is really best for all. Its human nature to respond like Jezebel. Its human nature to want to ease suffering, even at the expense of doing the mature healthy thing. This is like disintegrating into a gooey mess, undefined and unable to live into one’s true purpose. To this God says, you reap what you sow.

In another example, like the woman who anoints Jesus with nard, some of us are comfortable with our physical bodies, with the sensuous touching that this woman offers to Jesus, while others are more like Simon, wanting to reduce her compassion to selfishness by minimizing her actions, limiting her behavior, and shaming her. Jesus sees her for who she is, someone who can be authentic in her decisions and actions, unafraid to make the right decision regardless of the consequences. Here, even in a gooey mess, there is an integrity, a sense of purpose and clarity of one’s self. You reap what you sow.

Today we celebrate the end of a program year in which this parish has done many wonderful things, but most notable our music ministry and the organ refurbishment. We can be most pleased with our effort to care for this fine instrument that feeds us spiritually each Sunday morning. We also celebrate all those who are experiencing life transitions this year, graduating from high school or college, beginning new jobs, retiring, or starting on a new path. It is especially delightful to celebrate the Steiner family, who three years ago, we blessed and sent off on their transition to seminary. Today we get to celebrate the fruits of that effort, Scott’s completion of seminary, his ordination to the priesthood, and his call to be the assistant priest at St. John’s in Royal Oak. We celebrate Katie, Rachel and Colin, who now make the transition back to Michigan to begin life as priest’s family.

Regardless of where any of us are today, some in profound transitions others taking baby steps on the journey of faith, God invites to keep growing, transforming into mature, healthy, loving Christians. Our Stewardship Commission is symbolizing this today with the release of butterflies during the picnic. Did you know that you can buy butterflies by the dozen and release them into the world? Did you know that butterflies, like bees, are endangered from all the pesticides we use? So releasing butterflies serves a variety of purposes: Symbolizing the transitions in life that we all experience, symbolizing the Christian process of maturing in faith, marking our year long effort to grow as stewards of God’s creation, a green initiative to help the environment, and while the list could go on, it’s also just a fun idea. Because most of all today is a day to give thanks, to be like the woman with the jar of nard, wildly extravagant in our love for God, to remember that even when we are a gooey mess, we contain within us, everything we need to be a mature, and with intentionality and integrity, refusing to give into a failure of nerve, we can transform into who God has called us to be. You reap what you sow.

a reflection on the readings for Proper 6C: 1 Kings 21:1-10, (11-14), 15-21a; Luke 7:36-8:3 

Tuesday, June 07, 2016


The Episcopal Women's Caucus produces and an e-newsletter several times a year. If you'd like to subscribe to receive this please sign up on our website: here The current edition features article written by the EWC Board of Directors and considers how women are represented in the media and the world around us. Here is the first of several articles:

I’ve been thinking a lot about who is called a liar these days, in particular the repeated description of Hillary Clinton as a liar, but also how often women in general are thought of as liars. I’ve been called a liar myself, or more subtly people have alluded to, without saying outright, that I have been manipulative and deceptive. The truth is, whether we are conscious of it or not, and I suspect we are rarely conscious of it, women have been considered untrustworthy for centuries. Below are just a few quotes from some early Christian church fathers and their view of women:

“What she cannot get, she seeks to obtain through lying and diabolical deceptions. One must be on one’s guard with every woman, as if she were a poisonous snake and the horned devil.” — St. Albertus Magnus

Tertullian: “Women are the devil’s gateway.” 

Thomas Aquinas: “As regards the individual nature, woman is defective and misbegotten.” 

St. Clement of Alexandria: “Every woman should be filled with shame by the thought that she is a woman…the consciousness of their own nature must evoke feelings of shame.”

 St. John Chrysostom: Women are “weak and flighty…For what is a woman but an enemy of friendship, an inescapable punishment, a necessary evil, a natural temptation, a domestic danger, delectable mischief, a fault in nature, painted with beautiful colors?” and “Amongst all the savage beasts none is found so harmful as woman.”

 St. Jerome: “Woman is the root of all evil.” 

Considering that those who helped form the early Christian church held these views of women it’s no wonder that a base distrust of women pervades our global societies and infiltrates our thoughts and actions. Donald Trump, for whom statistics indicate that he is rarely accurate or truthful, faces little scrutiny for his words. Headline news rarely ever calls him a liar. Yet Hillary is called a liar so often that this notion of her has infiltrated the general public who consider this characteristic of her to be accurate, despite fact checkers saying otherwise. 

A simple internet search on “women liars” pulls up stories about women rape victims whose stories are not believed, women as Jezebel’s, women who are “attention seekers.” It seems it all comes down to sex, women are not to be trusted because of sex. Consider how women are portrayed on television and in movies: liars, sexually manipulative, temptresses, mentally ill. Women are portrayed as untrustworthy and we support that notion, consciously and unconsciously. 

I’m not suggesting that Hillary Clinton is always completely honest, but she is certainly not the liar that some portray her as. Men, it seems can lie and get away with it. At least that seems to be the case with men like Donald Trump and Bill Cosby. I’m not arguing that we should lie or accept liars. I’m only commenting on the disparity between men and women, and our assessment of who is trustworthy and who is perceived as being a liar. 

Thanks to this presidential election, my awareness has grown. Much like the election of Barak Obama pushed open my awareness of racism and how embedded it is in me, let alone the corporate soul of the United States, so too, will this election year, should Hillary Clinton clinch the Democratic nomination, raise the anxiety of sexism and mysoginsm in this country. 

Nonetheless these efforts to raise our corporate soul to greater awareness of these long held prejudices against women and people of color is met with a growing sense of anxiety. Our society is deep in what Murray Bowen, founder of the Family System’s Theory, calls “Societal Regression.” Edwin Freidman, a proponent of Bowen’s theory, writes in “Failure of Nerve” that the last time society went through a major regression based on anxiety and fear was in the Middle Ages. This angst and fear of change produced the crusades and instituted an idea that the world was flat and that nothing existed beyond a few known countries and continents. This regression was broken open when some explorers dared to break the fear and set sail across the waters. Fear was replaced by creative imagination. We have once again been in a societal regression, says Bowen, since the late 1950’s, post WWII. One might say we are deep in the throws of it now, with our fears right out there controlling what we do. We react through fear not create through imaginative responses. This, by and large is the response to white people, mostly white men, those who have been the dominant culture, losing their power. The world is not what it was, and it is not yet what it will be. The theory states that if white people could work toward resolving our own anxiety about who we are, and the anxiety that differences in class and education and wealth produce, we wouldn’t need to create scapegoats of people of color or women on whom we project our real anxiety. This is a simplistic explanation of a complex theory. You can learn more if you go to Murray Bowen’s Family System website and if you choose to study Family Systems. My point is, we are living in anxious times and making decisions based on anxiety and fear, reactive processes that never lead to people making the best decisions. As a society we are reactive, looking for the next person or group of people to scapegoat, to whom we can project our anxiety so we don’t have to deal with what is really going on. 

My response to the rising tide of anxiety has been to choose to be less anxious and become more creative and self aware. I turn off the news and unsubscribe from email organizations that promote fear. I work on myself and how I can be a better person and how I can grow in my awareness of how I treat others. I’m doing what I can to become aware of the long held unconscious systemic and institutionalized biases that I have been raised with, so that I can try to behave differently. That means that I have to consider carefully the impulses in me to react and label other people. Calling Hillary Clinton a liar is just the tip of the iceberg, there is so much underneath that must be seen and dealt with.

For more on this topic read Soraya L. Chemaly at Role Reboot

Soraya L. Chemaly who writes about gender, feminism and culture for several online media including Role/Reboot, The Huffington Post, Fem2.0, RHReality Check, BitchFlicks, and Alternet among others. She is particularly interested in how systems of bias and oppression are transmitted to children through entertainment, media and religious cultures. She holds a History degree from Georgetown University, where she founded that schools first feminist undergraduate journal, studied post-grad at Radcliffe College.

And Murray Bowen’s Family System’s Societal Regression at The Bowen Center

The Rev. Terri C. Pilarski, EWC Convener

Terri has been ordained for sixteen years. She has been the Convener of the EWC since 2012 and is currently the Rector of Christ Episcopal Church in Dearborn, Michigan.