Seeking Authentic Voice

Yesterday, my so called "day off" was a flurry of activity - way too busy. From seeing an attorney in the morning regarding my illness and whether I ought to pursue a law suit (I don't want too, but it seems I do have a case of dentist neglect which made the condition worse). Then a lunch meeting, then a Dr. appt with my son, then a long phone interview with the search committee for a potential new call. Geez . so today, while not my day off, will be much more relaxing. I only have to pay bills on line, write a sermon, organize my thoughts for the annual meeting on Sun. exercise, maybe go to dog park (cold and snowy, so not muddy). And then another Dr. appt with my son (chiropractor, TMJ and headaches).... Here's the topic: When your day off isn't a day off, do you take another one that same week? How do you find the space and time for rest and renewal when really busy? Can one find sabbath time in just a few minutes or hours of a day? Does it "count"

My friends have encouraged me to see an attorney regarding the infection I got last fall which landed me in the hospital for 11 days. I see one today to determine if the dentist treating me at that time is culpable for the severity of the infection. I really hate to do this. I am not a litigious person and think that sometimes things just happen, not every circumstance in life has someone to "blame." On the other hand this infection was really bad and I was quite sick, and it may have been avoidable if the dentist had given me antibiotics from the get go.... So this morning I see an attorney and we'll see what happens. Then tonight I have a phone interview for a job search, a potential new parish call. I need to spend time preparing for that. My sweet kitten is laying on my lap sleeping and purring, I'd rather just sit here. But I need to get up and exercise and get ready for my day. Monday is supposed to be my day off.

The headlines on Monday said Windy v’s Indy! The Bears are going to the Super Bowl, and they’re playing the Indianapolis Colts. Tony Dungy is the head coach of the Colts, and Lovie Smith is the head coach of the Bears, and as it turns out these two have a long history together in the NFL. Eleven years ago Tony Dungy was the head coach in Tampa Bay and he gave Lovie Smith his first coaching job as the Buccaneers linebacker coach . They worked together for over 4 years. Now, on Feb. fourth these two men are and their respective teams are headed for the Super Bowl. In Tuesday’s Daily Herald Lovie is quoted as saying: “A dream of mine was a chance to play the Colt’s. My dream was for Tony to get to the Super Bowl. That dream has been fulfilled. Now it’s about the Chicago Bears winning that Super Bowl.” All around this part of the Midwest, is Super Bowl fever – on the news, in the papers, even making national news, and in our every day conversations, young and old, men and women, alike. Win

Self Care: list four things I do for self care and one thing I'd love to do but never have 1. Meditate: I use to do this twice a day for twenty minutes. Now I do it once a day for 30, usually in the afternoon. 2. Exercise: I use to (before I got sick and landed in the hospital) exercise about 40 minutes a day. Now I am working that back into my daily (almost) routine, I work out about 20 minutes. Once winter leaves I'll increase it because we can go back to Dog Park, which is just too muddy these days. 3. Afternoon Tea and Chocolate: most days I stop for a cup of Earl Grey with skim milk and a few pieces of dark chocolate. I usually blog while I sip the tea and eat the chocolate 4: I am seeing a Chiropractor for the first time in my life. He is doing acupressure and various adjustments to help my body heal from being sick, and build up a healthier me so I don't get sick again. Usually I get monthly massages but I haven't been able to afford that lately. And I do have a

I spent a small part of my morning wandering through a music store looking to use a gift card from Christmas. Thursday mornings I have a standing appointment about 40 minutes from my house. It's a good time to listen to music while I drive, and I'm always looking for new music and groups to listen too. I thought about buying an Elton John (oh, too many choices since I don't have any CD's of his, just old albums). I thought about Red Hot Chili Peppers, one of my fav groups...I have their best of and love it, but no, not exactly what I had in mind. I looked at Dixie Chicks, another fav , but I only have their new one, Home By Another Way, and I don't know if I'd like their older stuff. I briefly considered ColdPlay , but couldn't find them (didn't look very hard). Eventually I settled on the new Indigo Girls two disk CD. I chose this because I heard them interviewed on the radio about the CD and I've been meaning to pick it up...I heard a few tracks

Is this a good idea, to spend Wednesday's wondering about what ifs? Somehow I doubt it, but it is where the stillness led me so I'm willing to check it out and see. May be a very short lived segment of my writing and musings... I use to think that God had a plan and that all I had to do was figure out God's plan for me and I could make the right choices and decisions in my life, and all would be good. But as a result I would also struggle over decisions, should I do this or that? Then one day a good friend of mine said, "You know, God gives us choices, and God will go with us wherever we choose to go. In this way God continues to create and re-create with us as co-creators in the process." So, now I worry less about making the one "right" decision. Instead I aim to spend time discerning where God is in my life and making the best decision I can with the information I have, trusting that God will go with me. But that also means there is lots of possibilit

1. Why would a Doctors office charge a $25. oo yearly Administration Fee that appears to be for no other purpose than for the office to collect an additional $25.00 from each patient. 2. Why would people so willingly pay this fee, no questions asked? I saw young and old do this, over and over. Me, I protested. And I hate to raise a fuss. 3. If they are going to charge this fee (well, and they do), the least they could do is have good magazines to read while waiting (forever) to see the doctor. 4. My doctors office is not a club or some other organization I join, but this annual fee insinuates that it is. 5. WHY does this bug me so much? 6. Isn't it just a little unethical or at least in bad form to charge this?

Monday, my day "off." Ryan leaves for Afghanistan at 10:30am Eastern time for a 16month deployment I think he may be "safer" in Afghanistan than Baghdad? This is really difficult, I worry about the safety and well being of our troops, so young. In three weeks I turn 50 How does one celebrate a 50th? A big party or a quiet day? I'm having dreams that I am in the midst of a Tsunami (really!) We have our big annual church meeting in two weeks What will we choose to do, live or die? I am in five search process, two haven't contacted me since before Christmas - so they may be over, two are in the very early stages, and one, well I would really like the one I use to preach without a text. Ok, I'd write the text, but I'd internalize the content and not use the notes... I use to meditate twice every day Now I am just a muddle I have been off antibiotics for a week, no sign of the infection returning (that's really good) I continue to try and rally this p

When you crack open a hard boiled egg you find inside, between the shell and the white of the egg, a thick lining material. This lining is connective tissue. Our human bodies also have connective tissue. This connective tissue runs like a sweater through our bodies, between the skin and muscles, through the muscles to organs and bones. The connective tissue helps hold in place our abdominal organs. And, just as it sounds, the connective tissue runs in and through our entire body, providing the means for inter-connectedness. A body worker, like a massage therapist, works with the connective tissue whenever she or he gives a massage. Body workers recognize that a tightness in one part of the body may be related to a condition in another part of the body, called referred pain. Our bodies are profoundly connected, muscle, bone, organ, skin, through the connective tissue. Often, when we experience some kind of pain or discomfort, we may self diagnose the symptom and treat it without really

Badda Bing Badda Boom Friday Five GO! Who: The Holy Spirit, breath of God, ongoing action of God, the feminine expression of God What: aids us in discerning God's call to us, God's hopes for us, God's dream for the world When: She's is always around, are we able to be still enough to listen? Where: Everywhere. Do you see her? Why: Because we have not been left alone, God is with us always. Bonus: How: That's the mystery!

Monday. My day off so I slept late (8 ish ). The house is quiet, no school, kids still sleeping. A few inches of newly fallen snow, no big ice storm no major snow fall, just a few inches, very pretty. Last night I preached at an ecumenical service with Roman Catholics, Lutherans, and Episcopalians, celebrating the Week of Prayer for Christian Unity. The service was held at the RC church, it is our fifth year doing this service. Preaching was awesome . Three of the four clergy were women, which was so exciting for the RC congregation. Today, no big plans. Sit for awhile with coffee to drink, and kitten curled in my lap, enjoying the picturesque snow outside. Then I will work on resume for another search, makes five I have entered...oh my. After that, exercise, shower, and take dogs to park...unless the snow gets worse... Oh, and last night I took my last antibiotic . That makes 9 weeks of antibiotics ...now we wait and see of the infection is completely gone...

One of my earliest memories as a young girl is attending Easter services. At the time I lived in Salt Lake City and on this day my mother, great grandmother, and I went to temple square for services. I was all dressed up in my Easter best. The hall was very crowded. I was distracted by all the hats and people squeezing in, until the Mormon Tabernacle Choir began to sing. I remember their voices and the view from my pew like it was yesterday. I must have been 4 years old, but I was awe struck. To this day, the image of that Easter morning is my vision of the Christian life: lots of people all gathered to celebrate. We come from different backgrounds, different expressions of our faith. Tonight we are gathered, Roman Catholic, Lutheran, Episcopal, each with our own practice of faith and particular beliefs. Eugene Peterson, a pastor, professor, and author of many books on our Christian faith has written a version of the bible called, The Message. It is not an interpretation it is a reflec

Two girls were speaking about church: First girl: "My pastor said we could have 16 husbands." Second girl: "Are you sure?" First girl: "Yes. At the last wedding at the church I heard him say, four better, four worse, four richer and four poorer. Two Connecticut College psychologists asked thirty couples to rate the humor in twenty-five jokes, cartoons, and comic strips. The study showed that couples who agree on what’s funny are more likely to like, love, and want to marry each other than those who didn’t laugh at the same things… (Murstein, Brust) (Cited in Bernard Asbell with Karen Wynn, WHAT THEY KNOW ABOUT YOU, New York: Random House, 1991, p. 202) Joan Chittister says: God made laughter to show us that things are seldom as bad as they seem. Laughter liberates and laughter uplifts. When laughter comes into a life, nothing is too difficult, nothing can defeat us. She continues: There are some things that must always be laughed at in life: 1. Laugh when peopl

On Saturday our family friend, my daughter's high school sweet heart and still best friend, will deploy to Iraq. I can hardly imagine this kind young man facing the choices he will have to make, to live or let live, to kill or be killed. I fear for his safety. I fear for his well being. I fear for all our young men and women in this situation. My fear wakes me up at night in tears. I grieve with all the parents, relatives, and friends who are living this reality. My daughter can't speak about it, she can only go on each day distracting herself with her busy life. She pleaded with him not to join the army, we had him speak to people who had served in other wars. He was determined. He's made his choice. We support him in that choice, even as we do not support the reasons for this war. I always struggle with war, I always wish we humans could find alternatives to settle our disputes and power struggles. Pray for Ryan. Pray for all the young men and women in this war. Pray for

After a long spell of warm weather in the Chicago area, there is finally a hint of winter chill. As much as I do not like the deep chill we get around here it is even more disconcerting to have such a warm winter. What are we doing to our environment? I once heard a comedian-social commentary say something like, if we think we are destroying the planet with pollution, we are wrong. We are destroying the planets capacity to support human life (and animal life, etc). But even once we are gone, the planet will remain and possibly some adaptive life forms, it's humans that will be extinct. Society today. I am in the process of sharing with my parish the findings of research by Diana Butler Bass who speaks about our culture and Christianity, in particular renewal of spirituality and growth in membership for mainline churches. She counters the findings that support the mega-church influence with ideas for the rest of us in her book: Christianity for the Rest of Us. I have found her work

Whenever I take a long journey, especially if I’m driving, I do a lot to prepare. In addition to road maps and planning the route and packing, we do a thorough check of the car: tires, fluids, battery operated emergency flashers, flash lights, blankets, and food. The word journey isn ’t a word most of use in our daily speech. We might say, road trip, or vacation, or a hike. Journey is a more ancient word and our Christian tradition can help us appreciate the richness this word conveys. Until recent times, the taking of a journey was filled with great danger, traveling long distances on foot, or horse, or boat left one vulnerable to the elements of weather and terrain. The journals of a Henry Muhlenberg , who came to the American colonies to help organize the Lutherans, describe how the ship he was on ran out of water and the rats, desperate for water would lick the sweat off the faces of passengers while they slept. My family history includes the journey of pioneers, who traveled west.