“What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life? / The world would split open.”
Poet Muriel Rukeyser

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Gratitude Reflection Day 18

Today I have a headache. I imagine it is due to the pull inside of me. One part wants to be very busy doing doing doing. Getting the bulletin done, getting the sermon written, walking the dogs, and so on. The other part of me wants to close my eyes and be still. This part of me wants to enter into that quiet place with God, to pray. To hope. To wait.

I am in essence doing neither. I am not getting all worked up and busy. Nor am I really settling into a silent space. I work on my Christmas Eve sermon with a kind of half hearted effort. Then I set that aside to read a bit. Then I set that aside to answer the phone. And I set that aside to blog. And I set that aside to look through the Worship Booklet from Christmas Eve last year.

I think I am looking for inspiration, for a vision, for something to be excited about. But it's still Advent. Christmas is not yet here. So I remain in the season of waiting...

oh. And then I laid on the loveseat with my cat and closed my eyes. Now I no longer have a headache, and it's time to meet the piano tuner at church.

I guess on this day I am grateful for choices. Nothing is demanding that I live into a particular schedule, I can just follow where the Spirit is leading me, even